Help i have herpes and i feel like killing myself?

Question

i found out that i have HSV1 genital herpes. My world is crashing down around me because i am a virgin and do not know how this could have happened i have never had any sexual contact in my life. Now it is impossible for me to ever be with a woman and do the one thing ive always dreamed about which is to have a child. I know it seems dramatic but i seriously see no point in this, its so hard for me to even get a girl to like me and now i have to go around telling everyone i had herpes...what can i do, maybe if i can somehow remove my s*x drive i can feel better?

Answer 1

There are meds that can help it from not spreading.

Answer 2

It isn't as bad as it seems.

I also have genital hsv-1, and when I found out, I felt like killing myself. I thought no man would ever want me again.

Yes, you can meet a woman.

Yes, you can have children. Herpes does not prevent you from having children.

Have you ever had a cold sore on your mouth before? A cold sore is herpes hsv-1, and it is possible, though extremely rare, to pass it from your mouth to your genitals, especially of you have a habit of using saliva as a lube...

Try to get it in perspective, I know it is hard.

80% of adults have hsv-1!!! Nearly all have it on the mouth, but it is MUCH less infectious if you have it on the genitals - only about one fifth as infectious as an hsv-1 infection on the mouth is.

Next time you see someone with a cold sore, remember they have exactly the same virus as you - and put their partners at a higher risk than you would having intercourse, if they ever give them oral s*x.

Most people are accepting - especially of hsv-1. My sister also has genital hsv-1. She caught it in the first few months of her relationship with her husband, and now they are married with three kids.

I have told several people, male and female, and I haven't had any bad reactions.

Just explain:

-80% of people have it

-It is the same virus that causes cold sores - have they ever had a cold sore, or do they know anyone that has? They are more likely to have it than not.

-Genital hsv-1 is not very infectious - only about 3% of the time including outbreaks - and may never be infectious when you do not have symptoms. It prefers to be on the mouth.

-If they have ever had a cold sore, or are one of the 80% who have it on the mouth, they are highly unlikely to catch it from you. Although, as you seem to have discovered, it is possble, it is very very rare - people who have an established herpes infection on the mouth cannot usually catch the same virus down below, because they produce antibodies to the virus

-your partner would run a higher risk with the 8 out of 10 men who have it orally, simply because they are infectious for a higher percentage of the time - 15% rather than 3%.

Just have confidence it will be alright, because I promise it will.

I am also going to give you another piece of advice that I will probably get slated for. If you are seeing girls, and using protection, but don't feel able to tell them you have genital herpes because of the stigma, tell them you have oral herpes hsv-1/cold sores instead.

If they are ok with that, then fine - just leave it at that. You have informed them you have the virus and no one but you can ever know whether you have it genitally or orally unless you have current symptoms - even a blood test could not distinguish.

The way I see it, how many people even bother to tell you they have oral herpes? Every girl before she gives a guy a *******? I don't think so. At least you would be doing them the courtesy of telling them you have the virus - and most people are fine with it orally. If oral hsv-1 is seen as negligible, why should genital hsv-1 be treated differently? And if you are having a normal relationship with frequent oral contact as well as intercourse, I really can't see the difference.

Answer 3

I thought genital herpes could be cured! don't lose hope man, i'm sure everything will work out fine. You did seek medical help right?

p.s. oh and by the way, there's no need to go around telling everyone you had herpes. If you get completely cured from it, you can keep it a well hidden secret =]

Answer 4

Kiddo, you can still have children.

Go talk to Planned Parenthood and get educated. 1 in 4 people have Herpes... so you are far from alone.

Answer 5

You can take Meds so it stays under control. I feel for you bro, I mean you never had sexual contact and yet you get genital herpes. But its not worth getting all stressed out about it to the point where you turn emo. Just take meds and you'll be fine, don't worry you will be able to have kids someday, don't lose hope.

Answer 6

Don’t worry I do not think that if you have herpes virus it is tragedy and you can not have child. I don’t think so.. who told it to you?  In some cases HSV-1 can also cause genital herpes.

I have genital herpes  for same years …could you please write if you know more abut it? If it can affect on  child birth? My advise is read more about this virus