Help im holding on but he is slipping away?

Question

i adopted my sisters three boys ive had them for six years now i just turned 30 and their ages is 16 13 and 12 including my biological 2 thats 12 year old boy and 8 year old girl the oldest is a respnsible angel the youngest is a sweetheart but the middle child gives me so much stress and grreif he punishes me for his parents being on drugs and says he says he dont want to be with me anymore and im so sad he recently ran away i cant sleep so im writing for advice im so fed up but i love him and wanna help but in the process i feel he is teaching the others how to rebelle i need advice fast

Answer 1

We always lash out at the ones we love the most---keep that in mind.  And get him to counselling as soon as possible.  It may be that the whole family would benefit from a couple of group sessions.  You and your husband need to go at least once definitely, to discuss how to discipline this child without making him feel unloved.  Sit him down and talk with him and tell him that you love him but all actions have consequences.  If you didn't love him, there would be no consequences because it wouldn't matter what he did.  you will be in my prayers.

Answer 2

Just let him know you are quietly there, also in prayer for him. You are doing a great thing for these kids. He will come back around in time, he is trying to sort all his pain out.

Answer 3

well first of all I m sure he is harboring alot of resentment over the fact that his parents use drugs.  addictions hurt every one in the family not just the addict.  My advice would be to get him into a support group like alleteen and you should try allenon. they are both in conjuction with alcholics annyamous.  you can try narcotics anyamous also.  the one thing that worries me with the middle child is that with addictions in both parents its more likely that a child can become an addict as well.  Please educate him about drugs and be proactive at school.  see if there are any programs at his school teaching kids how to deal with their feelings and about addiction.  also see if they might have a mentor program and see if you can get him into it.  A positive male role model would be great for him allso.  Most parents who have an addiction are not emotional available to their kids and it hurts their self esteem.  Self worth is so important, and it is vital for kids to have healthy self esteem so they wont turn to drugs or alchol. Get him into a sport or something he really likes to do.  Any good luck

Answer 4

hes just going thru a tough time where he feels the need 2 need his bio parents....its a phase :]

Answer 5

its the age to he is going through life's changes and doesn't know what to do about it..... i know its no excuse...

he also mite have middle child syndrome.. maybe talk to a doctor about it..

Answer 6

You really do need to act fast.

Middle school either makes or breaks an adolescent. It exposes them to such liberal thinking that they ignore and break rules.

You are 30; young and remember what you went through with your sister and your parents. Talk to him, relate to him, being on his level is the most important thing you can do as a caretaker.

He feels detached from his bio-parents/abandoned/unloved and can't get past the awkardity of being "the foster".

This type of problem is one that you have to nip in the bud...call out your pastor or priest if need be.

And rock on woman! People like you are hard to come by, you deserve respect above anything, and a place in heaven, your sister should be FOREVER in debt to you

Answer 7

Let him know that running away from his problems isn't going to solve anything.  Maybe get all the kids involved and let him know they love him and you love him and that it wasn't his fault his parents does drugs. Next you need to get him into some counseling pronto.  He is angry and he is just going to get angrier as the years go by if you don't step in now and intervene.