Help me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!,?

Question

i feel so bad for my cousin hannah. lets just make a long story short. she and her husband cant have children. she is fine but her husband had cancer of the testicals when he was little and they had to cut them off. (please dont leave any foolish comments because if you do you are immature and should be answering the question for obvious reasons) any way they have tried adoption, invetro fertilization and they have no where else to turn. so her choices are : stay with her husband because he loves her and told her this before the got married.or leave and find some one else. my point for posting this is because i just want your feeling on the . and please dont say you cant spell . i know this beacause i have a learnning disability and i am only 13. at least i say them at the right time and know what the larger word mean. by the way do you think i have a large vocabulary for someone my age based on what i just wrote. if you leave an answer on my cousins "problem" it would be appreciated.

Answer 1

Have they had any feedback about the prospects for adoption?  Why did they give up on that course?

Answer 2

If you are 13 years old then you really shouldn't be worrying about their child bearing problems. Find a hobbie for your age, and leave the baby stuff for them

Answer 3

That would be a terrible reason for your cousin to leave her husband. They can certainly adopt, and children aren't everything in a marriage anyways. Statistically, 10% of couples have some kind of fertility problem that prevents them from reproducing. I personally have a few friends who are sterile, and that's no reason why they aren't entitled to just as much love and happiness as anyone else. Marriage is supposed to be about love, not reproducing.

Answer 4

They should raise pets....maybe dogs, or even ferrets.

Why are you concerning your 13 year old self with this? As for your use of vocabulary - a  larger word for the medical procedure of having ones balls cut off is called "castration."

If she knew this before marrying him (and I guess you would unless there are silicone testes...)she should accept her life as childfree...there are many upsides to this.

Answer 5

Hey Hun First off I think you are very intelligent, and very precise disability or not. I have a son with a learning disability and possible Autism so I understand, I also have a disablity myself and can't spell worth a c**p LOL... No problem there as far as a rude comment.

Now on to the issue with your cousin. One I think she should stay it is so hard to find a real true love in this day and age and that special person.... Here are a few reason I vote for her to stay.

1. He was honest with her from the start

2. He loves her

3. He isn't pretending to not want children (it is medically impossible.

4.she loves him (or she would have hi-tailed out  when she first found out about the problem). and .......

5. Never give up on the love and power of the Lord...

I say this because I couldn't have children for a long time I went thru multiple miscarriages. was just on the edge of giving up..... A doctor did a full D&C(dilatation & curettage). and  the endometrial  lining of my uterus was scape. Six (6) months later I was pregnant and 21/2 again and then 3 month later again (reason so soon another story).now my first was14 years ago and my daughter is 14 y/o They said I would NEVER have children EVER. Well Surprize!!!..

I know that the problem with your cousins husband isn't the same... but I truley believe that faith will win and they will be able to adopt or she will be able to concieve with fertlization..Faith is very powerful.

Now to my votes on why she should not leave.....

1. It would be mean to leave him just becus he has a medical condition that affects his sperm

2. she would not leave him if she truly loved him no matter what.

3. He isn't in control of this and was completely honest with her from the beginning.

I truly hope things will get better for them and I will keep them in my prayers, I hope this has helped some and anytime you need a friend I'll be here, Best wishes to you Cousins and her husband. Hang In there I know that They will be blessed Miracles are Wonderful. =)

Answer 6

Stay with him & Adopt.

Answer 7

I don´t think you should leave someone because they can´t have children.  If she loves her husband, and from what you say he was honest from the beginning, then I don´t think she should turn to someone else just to have a child.  In these kinds of cases, it is always good to turn the tables around.  How would she feel if she was the one who couldn´t bear children and her husband left her for this reason only, after she had been honest with him?  It´s not very nice, is it?  We get married for better or for worse.  And this is a problem they have to face together.  In your message you do not mention why they can´t adopt?  I know that there are adoption agencies where you can adopt children from other countries, such as China or Romania.  Have they tried there?  There are babies that no one wants, like older children, crack babies or handicapped children.  Would they be willing to open up their hearts and home for someone with special needs?  I think they have more options than they know.  But, I would tell your cousin not to let go of someone who loves her.  That kind of person is much more difficult to find.  

P.S. I think you should be proud to be able to write this message and to love your cousin so much to ask for help.

Answer 8

Well I feel that there is nothing like your own baby.Maybe he can get a doctor advise about weather is maybe a small amount left that he may can tranfer into her.Maybe she can get sperm from his family member -but he may not want that either because like I said.. there is nothing like your own baby.She should not leave him for that reason.that's not fair. His parents should've had his sperm frozen before he had the surgery(If he was in the right teen age).That's a tricky situation.Maybe they could adopt a newborn set of twins or two newborn babies.But like I said there is nothing like your own baby.

Answer 9

If she knew this before they married then she shouldnt even contemplate leaving him because he disclosed the information and she knew what it meant, if hed kept it secret then that would be a different story.

Maybe they could look into fostering, this could be rewarding and fulfill many needs across the board.

Answer 10

I'm so sorry your cousin and her husband ha this problem. It has to be real hard on them. I would say stay with her husband it's true love. Why couldn't they adopt ? Something happen with the adoption? I really don't know what else to Say. Yes you have a good vocabulary and I know how you feel I have a learning problem. (SLD)

Answer 11

If they truly want a child then they can adopt.  There are many different options for that.  They can adopt through the state where it is free.  Different agencies have special needs babies that have grants to cover some of the expenses.  They can foster/adopt within their own county.  

I dont think if she truly loves her husband she will leave him.  She  knew up front that he couldnt father any children and she loved him enough to marry him-so they can work it out.  If she leaves him to get a child-she will still not be complete if that is what she is looking for.  I think she is wanting a family in the whole sense of the word and it wouldnt be the same with just someone else that can "get her pregnant".

Have her spend some time calling the county for information.  Or she can start at least on a good website adoptuskids.com and there are some listed for each state.  sometimes it takes awhile for the social workers to get back to you-but at least it can head her in the right direction.

Best of luck!  Sheri

Answer 12

well she should stay with him and keep trying for adoption

Answer 13

1. Your spelling/vocabulary is fine. Don't focus on your disability. Your abilities clearly over power it.

2. Your cousin should NOT leave her husband. She knew he could not have children before she married him. He can't help his situation. How do you think he feels knowing that he can't give her a baby? The one thing most women look forward to their entire lives. He probably feels like he's failing her as he will any other woman he may marry. If she TRULY LOVES HIM she will help him deal with his situation and provide as much support as possible. Keep in mind the adoption process may be a very difficult one for him. It's just not the same as watching your wife give birth to your child. It's waaaayyy harder for him than it is for her. Yeah she can walk away from him, but it takes a much stronger, more loving, more sensitive, more understanind wife to stay. Tell your cousin that.

Answer 14

Adopting through foster care is extremely low cost or free in most states... and if they adopt a special needs child, they'll (usually) actually get a stipend from the state. So adoption is not out of the question; tell them to consider a child who really needs a home, a foster kid, rather than a newborn baby.

Answer 15

that is sad about not having kids if they want some. i do think there are so many modern things happening i bet if she keeps moving and finds the right doctor she'll have a baby. i think somehow they can get dna from him and do something and incert in her but not exactly how this is done but have heard of stuff like this it would be worth a try. tell her to keep trying different specialist and it will work out i am sure. yes you sure do seem alot farther then the age 0f 13 take care

Answer 16

ur cousin dosnt need 2 leave her husband cuz i bet if she was the 1 that couldnt have children he would stay wit her and he did tell her that he couldnt have children b 4 they got married

god bless you and your family