Help me Please with 8 year old daughter......Parents only?????????

Question

Yikes, OK let me get a deep breath here. My daughter already knows about s*x. Do WHAT????? I can't believe it. I need to have "The Talk" as soon as possible. I need loads of advice. How do I approach this talk and Any advice on what to say. She has told me that rabbit ears like on the back of someones head means meet me in bed @ 2am. I haven't even ever heard of that before myself. Parents just please help me out here Please!!!!!!!!!!!!

Answer 1

My son is 7 and he knows alot more about s*x than I remember knowing at his age!  I have "talks" with him all the time, just so I can stay informed about what exactly he knows.  He hears ALOT of stuff from other kids at school and on the school bus, and most of it is so far from reality, it isn't even funny.  When he comes home saying things that he's been hearing at school, I usually open up by asking him what he thinks it means.  Then I explain to him what it REALLY is, in a age appropriate way.  I basically let him tell me what he knows, then use that to determine how much detail I should go into.  That way, I can make sure he is not misinformed, but at the same time, I don't give him more information than he needs or is able to understand.  A couple of examples: 1) when he saw a tampon in my purse & asked me what it was, I just explained to him that it is something that all women have to use when they are older.  I did not go into detail about periods just yet, because I didn't think he was ready for that. 2) when he came home from school and told me that his friend told him that he was going to see a stripper and asked me what a stripper is i told him that a) his friend will not be going to see a stripper because you have to be at least 18 and b) a stripper is someone who dances wearing either a bra & underwear or sometimes nothing, and that people pay to see them.  Once he knew what is was he decided that he did not want to go see a stripper with his friend after all!  Kids this age will usually be ok with a simple explanation, and you can always keep builing on what you told them (as long as you keep it honest and accurate) as they get older.  There is a good book called "Outside In" that helps kids understand the differences between boys and girls without being too graphic.  Hope this helps.

Answer 2

be straight with her...but try to do it in an age appropriate way..  and you might consider monitoring what she watches on tv etc.. sounds like she has too much info

Answer 3

My sympathies... Sorry I can't offer any advice, I'm just an older sibling, but I'm also shocked at the amount of knowledge about s*x that small children seem to turn up with. I'll be watching for words of wisdom.

Answer 4

ok it sounds like she has been getting her information from other clueless misinformed children. First thing you need to do is find out who she has been talking to and exactly what she knows. She may know less than you think. Then make sure to correct any wrong information. Then just be honest. Explain the difference between boys and girls anatomically, explain that s*x is something that happens between two adults who love each other, if she doesn't have any clue on how s*x actually happens don't fill her in right now save that for when she is a little older. Answer any questions she may have honestly but only giving as much detail as necessary to make her understand. Then if the kids she is getting this from are kids she is friends with you may want to talk to their parents so that they can have the same talk with their kids. If it is happening in school, especially from older kids you may want to give the teacher or the principal a heads up before they start getting phonecalls from angry parents.

Answer 5

I use to teach and unfortunately children as young as preschool are hearing about s*x from other kids in school. As far as I am concerned EVERY child should know the basics (age appropriate, of course) by the time they go to Kindergarten.  Otherwise, if their parents don't inform them then they WILL learn it from other kids at school.  I would just get an age appropriate book out of the library that takes a very simple approach to s*x and start from there.  Read it with your daughter and then answer any questions she may have as honestly as you can.  Good luck.  I will be doing the same in a few years...sigh.

Answer 6

When your daughter said the thing about the rabbit ears (which I never heard of either), it might have been a good time to open up a converation then.  Like, you could have asked where she's heard that and what does she think of that.  Then, you could just casually talk about things that she says and tell her that you just want to discuss things with her so that you will know that she understands things she has heard or has learned from other people.  The opportunity for that type of talk will surely come up again soon.  Sounds like you already have a pretty open relationship with your daughter if she told you that in the first place.  Yeah, those "talks" are tough but you'd rather make sure that she is accurate in what she knows or thinks she knows instead of having her just hear things through the grape vine that maybe she doesn't even understand or that maybe isn't even correct.

I remember when I was younger, there was another girl my age whose mother obviously left her brain somewhere.  The girl asked her mom about "periods".  Don't ask me why, but the mom didn't give her the real explanation about that.  For some reason, she told her daughter that once a month, a grown up woman bleeds from her b*****s!!!!! And, that's what the girl believed and that's what she shared with her friends if anyone else had questions about what it means for a female to get her period.  So, you see, it's important that your daughter get the right information from the right source -- you!  Once you get started in the conversation, you'll no doubt find that it wasn't as hard as you thought it would be.  Also, remember that children often accept things very openly and that she'll treasure having a mom like you that she can talk to.

Answer 7

Hey, I'm not a parent my my younger sister who is now 8 years old, knows about s*x too and she played a few online s*x games before a year ago. I don't know how she got there. She knows what s*x is and stuffs related to it. Its bad but I find almost everykid that is her age knows about s*x too? What's up with their generation mann.

Answer 8

do you really need to ,make sure first just ask her where she heard that and does she know what that means you may not need to have "the talk"this soon anyway,my daughter is 7 soon and i cant imagine talking to her about s*x yet,tread careful you could be jumping the gun a bit x

Answer 9

I knew when i was 4 and nobody told me it is just common sense. You do not need to have the talk. She already knows and does not want to hear it.

Answer 10

I have an 8 year old son and he too knows alot about s*x. Just be honest with her. Tell her the facts and let her know that if she ever has any questions, ever, that you will  answer them as honestly as you can. We have always been honest with our kids. I would rather him ask me something that may be a little embarrassing to me than for him to get the wrong information. Don't let her think that it is bad to talk about it. But that there is an appropriate time and place for it.

Answer 11

just sit down with her and explain to her the differences in boys and girls and how as you grow older your body goes through changes to get you ready to be an adult. Explain that when two people are in love they get married and they hav s*x which is also called making love. This is what mom's and dad's do when they want to have a baby and to show their love for eachother.

That is all you need to say and if she asks any other questions you answer them honestly with age appropriate detail.

There shouldn't be just one s*x talk. This should be a dialog you have on a regular basis adding more details little by little as they become ready for them.

Answer 12

I have never heard that one either I would tell her in the 60's it meant peace. Also If you haven’t already explained to your p*****n where babies come from, now is the time, as they most likely have heard it from their peers. You may need to see what information they have and then, give them the truth. Preteens are notorious for misinformation on s*x. Talk about puberty what is to come what to expect. With all these young stars (and I use that term loosely) showing all the "bad behavior" they have on TV doesn't help either. Find out what she knows and correct mis information and let her know to please please come and ask you no matter who tells her what. Even go to the bookstore or library and get her some books on it all after you have had your talk. If you take her with you one of her friends may see what she's getting and tease her. I wouldn't go too far but it sounds like they already know more than we do-Good luck.

Answer 13

I started giving "the talk" to my girls when they were toddlers.  What your daughter is telling you is simply stuff she has heard not something she has learned.  I suggest you find out what it is she really knows about the subject rather than what she has heard from other kids and set her straight.