Help me deal with my daughters death????

Question

I lost my daughter last year at the age of six to brain cancer,I have three healthy children.We want to do something special on that day,Once a month we let helium balloons go with a letter to her.I am also looking for a necklace with a jar on it to keep her close to our heart.... THX BECCA

Answer 1

I'm so sorry for your lost!!

Answer 2

hello I'm so sorry for your lost....

Well first I think your other children would love to see you smile again. They might be missing their mom before their sister died. You know what there is a certain belief, I think it's Indian that butterflies are messengers. You can whisper your prayers and wishes to a butterfly and it will send the messages to God. Maybe every month you can have a butterfly and utter your thoughts for your lost daughter then just release the butterfly. Maybe, just maybe the butterfly might reach your daughters soul. And she would be happy that though you've been living a normal life again, you still remember her.. Also I think it will better if you will join civic groups that gives counsellings to cancer patients. You have been there and you can help/motivate relatives of cancer patients get through the emotional pains.

Answer 3

Becca, I am so sorry for your loss.  

I too, lost my only son at age 19, in a car accident.  It was so sudden and so shocking, I can't begin to tell you how hard its been for us.  This was 4 years ago, its still pretty fresh, but as time moves on, it gets easier, but you never feel the same after such a loss.  The only way I cope in day to day life, is knowing my son is with his Savior and I will see him one day in glory.  This scripture really helps me get by, for my son was just like Enoch:

"And Enoch walked with Lord; and he was not, for Lord took him." Gen. 5:24

I know he is in much better hands then he would be on this earth.  And this is how I deal with the death of my beloved son Aaron.  

Answer 4

sorry for your lost,i could not imagine going through something like that i have 5 children,my sister lost her daughter to a car so called accident her boyfriend was driving at 90 miles a hour and wrecked they called it murder,suicide,she had to be cremated my sister got a butterfly necklace with  some of her ashes in it .take care

Answer 5

It is too much for those of us who have been lucky enough not to have had a child go through such a thing to even really think about that.

I would never know what to say and would be afraid of saying the wrong thing, but there are support groups out there and I hear that they are great for supporting each other.

I know, it sounds like a canned answer, but really, who would know better, us, or those who live through the h**l you must be going through every day?

Answer 6

First off, I'm sorry for your loss. Loosing someone so close to you, especially in a young age is never easy. Please know that you will ALWAYS think of her everyday and the pain will never go away. I think you need to see a grief counsellor. Please talk with your family and close friends about this.

These are the 5 stages of grief:

Denial: “This can’t be happening to me.

Anger: “Why is this happening? Who is to blame?

Bargaining: “Make this not happen, and in return I will ____

Depression: “I’m too sad to do anything.

Acceptance: “I’m at peace with what has happened.  

But they are responses to loss that many people have, but there is not a typical response to loss, as there is no typical loss. Our grieving is as individual as our lives.

If you’re a normally resilient person, you may feel just as much pain over a loss as someone whose normal state is depressive or emotionally vulnerable, but you may find it easier to recover your equilibrium and to enjoy life again. People who have trouble coping with the setbacks of daily life will have a more difficult time recovering from a serious personal loss of a child.

Losing someone or something you love is very painful — and it’s something that almost everyone will experience at some point of our lives. Loss that goes unacknowledged or unattended can result in disability. But grief that is expressed and experienced has a potential for healing that eventually can strengthen and enrich our  life. There is no right or wrong way to grieve — but there are ways to make our grieving more complete and more positive.

I definitely believe that the only way you'll cope is thru' God and Grief Counselling. I can't help much but to tell you that EVERYTHING happens for a reason. EVERYTHING. Never forget that. You may not ever know why this happened but it has happened for some reason. Only God knows why. Please seek counselling. Please speak to your family and  close friends  about this. Hopefully they'll understand and get you the help you need so desperately.

Best wishes to you.

Answer 7

I can understand your grief as I too lost my child two years ago.  He was 20.  I always tell myself that I will grieve forever.  And I still do but the handling of pain gets better.  My faith in GOD was not a bit shaken.  I tried to help myself too by being active in church.  There are so many an unanswered questions that I just rest my case in Jesus.  I always remember this passage that I read once "What was Jesus doing when my child was dying? And the answer just blew me away "HE WEPT!" The Lord weeps also as we grieve.  But we have him to draw our strength too.  Oh Becca, you are making me cry again!  Your daughter is now an angel and she is very happy in heaven.  

Love you Sister....

Check if this site will help you a bit in your depression:  http://www.depressiondiscussion.com

Answer 8

Wow...first off I am so sorry about your loss. I cannot imagine going through something like that. I really like the idea that a previous person wrote about planting a tree in her honour. You can plant a tree somewhere (even in a park with permission if you dont plan on staying in your house for long), and have a plaque near it or something to commemorate her. Put her name on it, and a quote to her like "we will love you always" or something to your liking. This way you can have something living in memory of her and her life. Her life is going on in a different way.

You are an inspiration to others in your situation and to others in general. Please know that.

Answer 9

  I lost my little cousin to the same culprit! I am truly sorry for your loss! If you could maybe the family could sponser a garage sale and give the proceeds to a children's hospital.

Answer 10

Becca,

Why not plant a tree in your yard that your family can take care of and watch grow?   Or perhaps plant some flowers or bulbs that when they come back each year they will remind you how beautiful your daughter was and how she would bring joy to you?  God bless you.

Answer 11

Im so sorry just think about good time and if that doesnt work out just think would see want you to feel sad NO just think