Help me does this thesis make sence!?

Question

Is this a good thesis statement!?

im talking about the media and the police and how the information they provide to the public is often distorted

The attention of the media and the symbolic power held by the police, manipulates the public’s view in believing certain criminal acts are more serious than they actually are by using distortion.

Answer 1

"through" instead of "by using" at the end, but otherwise good.

Answer 2

manipulates and distortion are too similar in deffinition. I suggest replacing manipulates w/ molds or models. Also agree w/ #1 about the through.   Also make sure each paragraph begins w/ a different example of the media..Shows such as Cops, Lock-Up, JAIL...are good examples of cop empowerment. Police survailance like they have on drug corners now and the invasion of privacy is another good example....Traffic light photography....Police often dont read rights....