Question:

Help me improve my poem?

by  |  earlier

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Prevailing Past

You compromise your strength

When you're guided by your pain

You think your scars, unique,

wounds you've not let heal

Your past a violation of

what you hold as real.

What once was real may not be now

Still it strips you from the present,

It's your fear of loss that keeps you lost.

Builds walls, instead of bridges.

When you fail to see the gains

You're held hostage by your past,

distorted perception and masked reflection,

Dripping liquid gold

sticky and without acclaim

To give without regret is

like passion with compassion,

It's unique as you and as rare,as me

Here, I thought you knew the answer,

Perhaps you even failed the question

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2 ANSWERS


  1. i like it though i got lost towards the end. try to smooth the tansition from the 6 an 7 line.


  2. I was intrigued up to the last 7 lines and then you lost me.  

    I really like the premise of this piece a lot but I can't for the life of me figure out what the point is by the last 7 lines.  They are confusing to me.

    Perhaps you should consider re-writing those or perhaps, I just don't get it.

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