Help me plas and be awarded 10 points..?

Question

I will write a letter and pls read and make some comment.

Hi sir, this is Cheska Jersy, how are you? About me, im fine and good. Sassy told me that you were asked about me. Thanks for still remembering me. I tried to call you last time but it was answering machine.

About my application in Sales Dept., Linda told me that she will call me as soon as Gabby will be gone for Canada.

Thanks...

"To make it clear I applied in Ssales Dept of a company and they said i will replace Gabby once he went to Canada. But Gabby still there so i have to wait. I passed the interview already and they accepted me." Pls help me and il give u 10 points.

Answer 1

Is that the letter above that you wish to send? If so, it needs a lot of work and a spell checker.

Answer 2

Not sure if I can be of help. Appears that you are applying for a job. The first and only piece of advice I will offer at this time is...never say the names of the people that interview you or the names of the people they mention. Only talk in terms of departments or positions. Don't try to be friendly. Try to be professional. I don't need the 10 points. I just hope I helped a little bit.

Answer 3

Corrected:

Hello Sir,

This is Cheska Jersy.  I'm writing because Sassy told me that you were asking about me.  I tried to call, but it went to your voicemail.  I understand that you are probably very busy, so please feel free to respond by phone or email, whichever is more convenient for you.

Regarding my application for the Sales Department, Linda told me that she will call me as soon as Gabby leaves for Canada.  If this has changed, or you would like to discuss it further, I am available between the hours of *enter the time you are available to be called* at the phone number below, or you can email me and I will respond as soon as possible.

I hope all is well, and I look forward to speaking with you further.

Thanks,

Cheska Jersy

*Phone number*

*email address*

*******************************

You can certainly just use this, however you might want to just pay attention to the format and write it in your own words.  Not to criticize, but it doesn't appear that english is your first language.  If this person has already seen some of your writing, they'll immediately recognize this as being written by someone else.

Good luck, hope you get the job. :)