Help me please. I don't know what to do.

Question

I gave birth to my daughter 4 weeks ago my health visitor says she thinks i have Postnatal Depression. I don't think i do have it and this is making me upset what will they do? Do they think i am a bad mum? I have always done the best i can do for my daughter and i love her very much. Will they take her away from me? I would never do any thing wrong to her, She is my life she makes every thing in my life worth while i don't know what id do with out her. Why do they say i have this?

They say we will talk more about it next week.

I am a single mum is that the reason?

Answer 1

You have done nothing wrong so please stop worrying.  Agree totally with Genie, enjoy being a mum and try and relax until the next visit.  It may be you have misunderstood what the health visitor said or meant, wait until her next visit and I can guarantee that your mind will be set at ease - talk to her, tell her how you felt when she left and how worried you have been and she will put you straight but until then do your best, that's all that can be expected of you.

Relax, enjoy and bond with your beautiful baby.  And congratulations on becoming a mum, you must be soooooo proud x

Answer 2

Hi honey.

I had post natal depression after my daughter was born.

I did not realise I had it, it was my mum who guessed.

I loved my daughter more than life, just like you love yours. That had nothing to do with it.

They will not take her away from you. All that happened to me was my health visitor saw me a bit more regular for a while to give me extra support. There is also the option of antidepressants but only if they think you need them. Mine didn't.

It has nothing to do with being a single mum. I lived with my mum when I had my daughter and had a partner. My auntie also had postnatal depression after her second child and she was married.

Please try and calm down and talk to your health visitor. Ask her why she feels you have postnatal depression. Perhaps she can see something that you are oblivious too. I did not know I had it myself, it was my mum who realised.

Take a deep breath and calm down. Postnatal depression is nothing to be ashamed about. A lot of women suffer from it.

Congratulations on the birth of your daughter.

2 years later I now have completely recovered from pnd. My daughter turned 2 in March and she is a happy, healthy and very much loved little girl.

Good luck

Answer 3

don't get so worried about what one woman says. post-partum depression has a lot of forms that it takes. you could have it, or you might not. actually, i cannot beleive she would even suggest it. who isn't a little depressed 4 weeks after giving birth? you are still recovering, and getting used to your new love, then you have some crazy woman come in and let you know your depressed?

i would wait a little longer and see if your feelings change.  you are still recovering physically. get a second opinion. or better yet, call the clinic and ask for a different visitor. you have a baby now, so you need to learn to speak up for yourself, and this is a perfect opportunity. if you get a second opinion later and they agree, then get on a medicine and get your life back to normal. it isn't the end of the world-whatever you do, don't let someone else talk you into having something you don't!!!

Answer 4

The must have reason to think you have . Explain to them you love your daughter and don't feel you are depressed and are coping fine.

Show them how well you take care of her, and make sure your house and baby are clean and tidy when they come.Don't get angry or upset with them.

You maybe want to to try counselling and antidepressents. Good luck!

Answer 5

Your not a bad mum! Please don't think that.  If they were worried that you were a bad mum they would be talking Social Services not Post natal depression.  I had it with my 1st child and I was oblivious!!  

They generally dont even ask about this till your baby is 6/8 weeks old.  

Look at what you've said "she is your life, youdon'tt know what you would do without her" Idon'tt think those are the words of a bad mum, do you?  No!  And its not because your a single mum and they aren't going to take your daughter away.

People who have Post natal depression in most cases wont know which is why your Health Visitor will look out for signs and ask you questions and get you till fill in theirquestionnairer!  Its not a bad thing and if you do have it they will help you.  Maybe with some anti depressants or just having your health visitor come out more to speak to you!

Don'tt worry.  Nothing bad is going to happen.  And just talk to the Health Visitor and you both work together.  Congratulations on your little girl x

Answer 6

Stop worrying, calm down no one is going to take your daughter away.  If the health visitor had been seriously worried she would not be waiting a week before coming back to see you.  The health visitor must have thought you seemed depressed/unhappy when she called to see you.  This is a very common problem with new mothers and  1 in  every 10 women suffer from it after giving birth.  Even if you had postnatal depression it would not make you a bad mother and no one would be wanting to take your baby away.

When she calls to see you next week tell her that you think she has made a mistake and ask her why she thinks you are depressed. Don't be angry with her, remember she is not the enemy and her job is to do all she can to support you and your daughter get the best start together not split you up.

Take a look at the website which describes the syptoms, treatment etc and you will be better informed when she calls to see you again.

Answer 7

If you honestly can't see any reason why she said this then I would not be worried about it. If you only gave birth 4 weeks ago you are still healing. She does not need to be worrying you with this.  Maybe you should ask her the reason why she thinks that you have it. Maybe she is better at spoting it early on. I would sit down and have a serious chat with her.

Answer 8

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Answer 9

Hey cheer up. They will not take your baby away from you. My friend had severe post natal depression with both her babies and there was never any suggestion of taking the babies away from her - she is a single mum. I too am on my own with my daughter, 3 weeks before she was born my father (my best friend) died, 2 days after his funeral my grandmother died, at the end of her funeral I went into labour. The birth was not good, I was induced and it took 4 1/2 days. The health visitor was very concerned that I would be depressed and unable to cope. I was fine.

Do you have a good support network behind you, mum or friends? If you do take one of them with you the next time you either go to baby clinic or the health visitor comes wound. Let her see you have people around you to lean on. If there is a chance that you have a touch of depression seek help from your GP. It will NOT result in the loss of your child.

Please try not to worry so much it will make you feel so bad, being a single mother is the most rewarding experience you will ever have, almost half of children in the UK now live with just one parent. You will do a great job, raise a tough little girl but it will not always be easy. Seek help when you feel you need it. Good luck and I hope it all works out well for you.

Answer 10

what is a health visitor?  never heard of that?

If you do not think you have post delivery depression, then you prob do not...if you happen to have it, it is fixable...don't worry about it,

I know that is easier said than done, just focus on you and the new little baby having fun, and being together forever.

Pray for God's direction.

Answer 11

Calm Down please ........take a deep breath and get all this into perspective.

Your first step should be to ask this person why she said this.  No one here can tell you that.

Unless they can prove that you are a danger to your child or to yourself then they won't even try to take the baby away as long as you are taking very good care of her.  

Is she being fed well and is she bathed and diaper changed regularly?  Are you having other problems at this time?  

When you have just given birth emotions are very close to the surface. So you need to make sure that you are not communicating this to the person or to your child.

You also do not say how old you are and what your financial situation is.  What ever that is there is help out there.  

Be perfectly honest with yourself and ask yourself why she would get the idea that something is wrong.  Please do this and talk with the lady before you go ballistic about it.