Help me please ;( ???????

Question

Okay, im 15 and due to bullying this is what happened. Ready? deep breath now? lol...

Okay, so at 13. I was happy, had lots of friends , a boyfriend, happy etc. Then suddenly i got bullied, really badly. Noone would ever physically hurt me, just girls bitching because guys would ask me out (the popular ones). Even though i wasnt popular, just i was so happy at school. Then there were some rumors that i had s*x. (at 13) Which was a lie! Im 15 now and still a virgin, lol.

Anyway, i skipped school for a couple of days. When my friends would ask me to go to the cinema etc, i would say i was busy (obv i wasnt busy, just upset!) Then it came to a couple of months later when they would stop calling.

14 years old now, birthday had just passed, with a few friends, 3 to be exact. My friends (i wont name because they might even have a yahoo account.) ill just say the begining letter of the names. R, H, B.

two girls one boy.

Eventually, time going out was limited, i would get abuse were i lived. :( Then i lost contact with these three people.

Okay, in september (when i was 14). Started a new school. (well, not school) More a college with a few lesons. Even though i was 14 i still was given the opportunity to get taught in some classes. So that was 5 days a week.

I made a few friends, 4, then 3, then 1. I wouldnt go to their house etc. I was just so scarred by what happened in my old school.

This year, (turned 15 in feb.)

I have no friends :( I hardly go out. Im going back to colege with new people :( Im so scared. Im afraid to let people close to me. I hope i dont get bullied again.

My parents are always shouting at me because im always inside the house.

I think now ive developed agrofobia too. Its getting worse. And even though ive only got my family, i hate them. I dont feel close to them. I want to move out, live life how i want. A flat by myself, gain confidence. Be a fashion designer.

Where could i possibly start?

Thankyou... :)

Answer 1

i've been through something similar to you, but luckily not to that degree. My major downfall was the loss of confidence. College changed that for me first few days i was freaked out, wouldn't talk to anyone pretty much trying to be the scariest guy imaginable. But then got forced to do some group work in one of the classes and ended up chatting to a couple of people and found out i had quite a bit in common with them. My advice would be to look for the person or people that are a bit shy of themselves and try to talk to them, you never know you may have something in common with them. The other thing i found was by getting a job which made you interact with people e.g. a shop assistant helps to build your confidence also try getting involved in something like a martial art if you canthat'sts given me a big confidence boost as well as keeping fit and learning some valuable things. My joisn'tnt the best in the world but once got to know the people i worked with i really opened up and go down to the local pub for a drink with them at least once a week now.

Sometimes no matter how hard it is you just have to the chance and hope for the best, you maybe surprised.

As with regards to moving out of your home last thing i remember was that you could only leave a parent or guardians home with written consent by them, i'm 23 now was only 17 when i found this out so things may have changed since then.

:edit:

The best but most difficult thing to do will be to face your problems head on and stop them from holding you back, because if you let the stuff that has happend to you hold you back things will only get worse.

:edit:

Get rid of the perv as well =)

Hope this helped you some.

Answer 2

lol well i dont know why you got bullied, you sound like a funny down-to-earth person, but im only judging that from a yahoo letter! Im 18 and I have had many problems similar, I have never been bullied but my confidence is extremely low and I am always looking for acceptance from others. If i was you i would look into agoraphobia on wikipedia and other websites and if you really think you are developing it then i would seriously suggest seeing a psychiatrist because you are young and can solve the problem before it becomes too late. A big problem that agoraphobics suffer is that they leave it soo late that they cannot even bring themselves to go to the doctor to get it dealt with. Living by yourself may not help your confidence, it may actually make it worse because you will feel even more alone and secluded from the world which could lead to depression. Its a difficult age to be thinking about moving out of home and it is probably not a good idea to do it. My mum had the same problems as you, she got bullied and hated her family so she left home at 16 and ended up a herion addict. You may think you are old enough or mature enough to live on your own but it is so much harder than you think. I just moved out of home a few months ago and trust me it is very difficult, both financially and mentally. It is a very big change to go through in life and may cause your problems to become more severe. Seriously think about seeing a counsellor or even your doctor and tell him/her how you feel etc. Good luck, im sure you will be fine xxxxx

Answer 3

awe you will make new friends, but because it is college they will be more mature and wont b***h about stupid things. Dont worry too much about it, and my mum shouts at me too. I have a group of friends but i went about 3 weeks without going anywhere (in the school holiday you loose contact a bit) and she moaned at me that i need to go out lol. I have started going out with them again tho. I hate dislike some family too. Everything i do or wear or say is criticized in some way. About the msn thing - just block them lol.

Answer 4

wow look add me on msn talk to someone in the real world and delte thte perv [e-mail]

Answer 5

seems like you are really stressed. you seem to go through friends quickly. Friends are those that will stick with you for life no matter what, I don't think those people were friends, specially if they were mean and hurt you.  Try to get involved with some younger kids that need help. It may prove very therapeutic.  

Answer 6

You seem like a really great girl from what i just read and im very proud of how you've been handling everything that's been going on in you life. Since your so young and your really just now getting an idea that there are really mean people in life and there are really nice caring people too. Just know that you may be feeling very scard and uncomfortable with meeting new people and going outside because of uncertainty. You have uncertainty about who to trust who's going to be a real friend and who's not.

I would recommend that you find something that let's you be around people but to not get too close. for example maybe go to the gym find a sport or something you might enjoy doing outside your house. Other than that be strong and know that your parents might be angry with you or be mean but understand there is nothing more closer or anything you can trust than your own family. Ok stay strong and beautiful, stay true to who you are and know your best day's are ahead and not behind.

Answer 7

At 15 you shouldn't be so stressed out.  Unfortunately if you don't fix this problem now, this is going to shape who you may become in the future which is very soon.  

You need to remember that you are 15 and you should have friends to hang out with and have fun with.  College is very easy to make friends and people are less judgemental so go for it.  Join a club or something to start your social life again.  It won't be so bad to reconnect with your old friends and just explain to them what happened and how it has affected you.  Invite them over and have a good old slumber party to break the ice.  

Life gets tougher so you shouldn't let things you can't control stress you out in life already at such a young age and if you continue to run away from your problem it will always catch up with you at some point, so you need to face it head on and be prepared for the battle.  You have to be determined, that's a very important lesson in life.  Don't let others_especially a group of jealous groupies_ intimidate you to the point where you  have to change your life...they are nothing without you because you made their days exciting and apparently people who want to talk about you all day find you somewhat important so that's the first thing you need to learn... Once you've realized your potential, you'll know that small things_as big as it may seem at the time_ are not worth stressing over.

Answer 8

Hi there,

NOTE: This is my personal opinion. I am not a professional. Use advice at your own discretion.

I'm so sorry to hear about these bullying problems! This harassment is horrible, and I can why you may have felt socially isolated when rumors were going around about you. Aww.

Well, my advice to you is to smooth things over with your parents. You need them for support, and love. And it seems like that's not what you are getting (or maybe they aren't showing it!). Talk to them about how you feel. If they don't listen, you can't do much except ignore them. Or, you can have another family member (aunt, uncle, cousin, grandparent, etc.) talk to your parents for you.

At age 15, it would be hard to live on your own, in my opinion. Of course, YOU could be mature enough. Well, I guess you know best in that matter. Just remember that living alone is really hard and a big responsibility, and if you are up to it, go ahead. And keep in mind that it might seem like you might gain confidence (living on your own! no rules! no parents! ), it might not be as easy as you think. But keep trying for you goals (fashion design! *smile*) and reach for the stars. I know you can do it if you set your mind to it. Hey, you can even start by designing some clothes and making them with a sewing machine or by hand! See how you like it. Also, there are a lot of books on the subject. Check out your local library or a bookstore near you!

Keep your chin up, and face a new day with a smile.

About the bullying and social problems, try to make new friends of course! Ones that can appreciate you. I know it might be hard to trust someone new into your life, right? Especially after the experiences that you have been through in the past, but honestly, are you any happier right now than when you were bullied? From the mood of your question, I wouldn't say so! I know it might be a little sad not having much of a social life, but it's not to late!

Get back on your feet and smile and be confident, and say "hi" to new people. You can meet new people at places where you can find others with the same interests (reading club, anyone?). Try things like reading clubs, sports leagues, etc etc etc. Think of your hobbies and interests! And a bonus: you'll have a common interest that you can start a conversation with!

Well, I hope this helps and wins Best Answer. I wish you all the best.

And if anything in my answer seems offensive, I offer you my greatest apologies! It's really not my intention, but I know I can sound a bit harsh sometimes in my answers. So sorry if I do! Good luck!