Help me please with girlfriend! quickly?

Question

my girlfriend has this problem and she might be told by her doctors that she is infertile. we've just had a long talk about adoption and what i think of it, she doesnt know that i know about this because shes tried to keep it private. as i knew that she might be infertile i said that i really didnt mind it and that it would be hardly any different from having your own baby to try to make her feel better about it.

But she took it the wrong way and thinks im being stupid for saying that adopting a child is anything like it. id rather have a child of my own but i didnt want to tell her this incase she was infertile and then would think that i wouldnt want to be with her. shes being really weird with me now though and im wondering what i should do?

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i posted this question yesterday so decided to tell my girlfriend the truth. she has just got really angry with me though. it has destroyed all her trust for me. she has just told

Answer 1

it sounds like she is pushing you to say how you really feel so just sit her down and be completely honest.

if you adopt you would go through loads of interviws anyway so be honest with her from the start.

you have every right to say to her that of course you would like a child with your own genes,but you are happy to adopt and have a family with her.and love the children just as much as you would your own biological children.

dont be bullied though,you may resent her in the future...

Answer 2

You have already apologized and tried to make things right.  Maybe give her a little time.  Then try again.  Focus on HER needs.  When you try to talk to her next time be sure that everything you say to her is about your concern for how she is.  Not about your feelings.  Not that your feelings don't matter.  But right now you want her to know that her feelings are important to you.  Listen to her, or at least make sure she knows that you will be ready to listen any time she's ready to talk.  That's really all you can do.  Just be there for her when she's ready to talk.

Answer 3

get in contact with her and apoligize for your actions tell her that you'll love her nomatter what and that you only suggested the option of adoption to try and comfort her, then ask her for her forgiveness and make sure that you take her out to sugar coat things a little. then ask her if she would mind you going with her to find out for sure if she is or isn't infertile, just try and be there as a shoulder to lean on. hope you have a good outcome on this.........

Answer 4

just remember, as a woman....hearing that she may be infertile...well that is a tough blow...a big deal...heartbreaking for many of those who hear it...

she may just need some time to deal with the news...i think she is dealing with more than just what is going on with you and her.

just tell her that you love her and that no matter what you want to stand by her. let it alone and let her figure some stuff out.

you sound like a great man and i doubt she will be too quick to let you go

Answer 5

im 22 and was told im infertile. i now have a 8month baby.

i reacted the same way with my partner. in the end you realize they are trying to help. you may need to give her space to come to things in her head 1st.tell her you will be there for her, and let her come to you.

and you only said maybe shes infertile. talking about adoption is a long way off.there are other ways to have a baby.

good luck, and remember she may see it as she loves you she has to give you a child, so she could feel she has no 'job' as a women.

Answer 6

whether you adopt or give birth to a baby, no matter what it'll be YOUR child.

Answer 7

--i don't think you've done anything wrong

--she needs to come to terms with herself that she may be infertile

--you're unmarried and shouldn't even be thinking about kids!...there are enough kids in this world with seperated parents and unwedded parents. how can we expect our future generations to be stable whenever we're starting their lives in an unstable environment?

Answer 8

doctors can be wrong i was told im not fertile but i have had 3 beautiful girls but adoption is good it helps a kid.