Help me please with this?

Question

I have one of my really close friends, who has been in love with me for almost 2 years, who really cares about me and who has been asking me to be in a relationship with him for all these months. I was not really ready to be in a new relationship because I was getting over my ex-boyfriend. And I always saw this friend of mine as a good friend, nothing more. However, my other friends keep telling me why don't I give me a chance as he really cares for me, and knows me so well and accepts me and has been waiting for me and has stood by me through all these months. Well, recently he has told me he loves me and since then I have been trying to think if I would finally like him as my partner. Well, yesterday he went out with his friends and he is not normally the type to talk to women and chatting them up as he is pretty shy. He texted me saying he had a lot of fun and that a lot of women were talking to him and he smiled. Why is he telling me this? It kind of upset me that he told me that.

Answer 1

Wow, It seems like if it's not one thing in this crazy relationship jungle it's another..huh?. It sounds like maybe he is thinking that if you see other women are interested in him that you will think of him in a different perspective or make you jealous enough to "get off the fence" so to speak. I understand where you're coming from though. It could go either way for you. But that doesn't mean it couldn't be a good thing for you. I think the best thing you can do is look VERY deep into your heart and ask yourself.

1. How do you really feel about him?

2. Try to imagine the s*x...are you curious or even slightly aroused by the prospect? or would it seem more like sleeping with your brother?

3. Are you more afraid of losing the friendship if you say yes or no? "

I can understand how you would be concerned with losing the friendship if your relationship were more serious but if you think you will lose him by saying no...then I think you have trust issues anyway and that's another conundrum in itself. I guess there are no easy answers to this c**p. It seems like it's all trial and error. All you can do is your best and what you think is right and hope the damage is minimal or none at all. I hope this didn't confuse you more. Good luck and God bless you in your decision.

Answer 2

What are you waiting for? You have a man who loves you, cares for you (deeply), and will remain there for you unconditionally. Millions of lonely people the world over, are looking for exactly the same thing. And you just push it away? That's sad. Really sad. Think about this...if you got upset when he told you he was conversing with other women, could it be that you love him, if just a little bit? Life is too short to put things off, with each passing day that you don't say that you like him, you're hurting him, and he's just gotten used to the rejection. Make yourself happy, by making him happy.

Answer 3

If you are not ready (for apparently good reasons) to be in a relationship with him, why should he not enjoy the company of other women?.

0nly you can decide if he is the one, but it does not sound like it.

Answer 4

Maybe he is trying to make you see your true feelings about him.

If you felt upset that other women talked to him and he enjoyed that it shows that you want to be with him. He could be trying to make you jealous though.

Answer 5

He is playing you. If he was waiting through all thoseyears and you were not interested why be now? He told you on purpose to make you get off the pot. I do not think you really want him but you do not want the last roll of toilet paper to go to someone else.

Answer 6

maybe he wants you to feel jelous.

Answer 7

were you jealous? because if you were then it sounds like you like him. but hes not going to wait around forever..

Answer 8

Well what is your problem now? It seems like you have been leading him on. May he not have fun?

Answer 9

I think he's trying to let you know that he has options, and he isn't going to wait for you forever.  Fair enough, right?

I am now engaged to a man who was my very close friend for many years.  I risked the friendship and planted a kiss on him, and it worked out!  But I've had male friends that I simply couldn't get romantic with because I couldn't imagine myself getting physical with them.  It wasn't about their being physically attractive or not.  It had more to do with how they were in their bodies. They just didn't seem sexual to me.

Answer 10

tell him only on a trial basis with no strings or har feelings the best couples start asnd end as best friends it sounds like accept from picking up the tab and te bed room issues yure in one

Answer 11

If it upset you then it seems as if you do like him...I think your heart wont let you get over your ex but to me it seems as if he really cares about you..And hunny...No woman should EVER pass the offer of a caring man by her side.

Hope ive helped!=]