Help me punish my teenage son!! I need help?

Question

My son is already grounded to his room with all privileges taken away. He has just gotten kicked out of class 3 times this week and on top of that has gotten himself kicked off the bus for 3 days next week. He is constantly being disruptive in a class room setting. He is mouthy always has to get in the last word.

Not sure what else to do I have taken away everything he enjoys.

We really need some new ideas

some of mine were

More Chores

Write sentences

Write an apology letter to the teachers and bus driver

Please Please Help

Answer 1

if he cant behave himself in class call the school and ask that he sit in the principals office during class and that the teacher write his assignments. when he gets home all he does is sit in his room and do his school work. he can only come out for dinner and bathroom. do this for a couple of weeks. send him back to class and if he hasn't improved then do the same for a month. i think if you try to talk to him all he is gonna hear is blah blah blah. so take matters into your own hands and tell him what he's gonna do................good luck

Answer 2

Sounds good to me. Tell him if he doesn't lean from this, you will ship his behind off to boot camp.

Answer 3

I agree here with the people that say talk to him.

Let him know all of these punishments are acceptable but they will get worse the next time(for example you will take everything out of his room besides the bed, clothes, dresser and big things. Everything that he enjoys will be gone). But let him know no matter what: you love him. You do this because you love him and want him to understand that what he has done is wrong.

If he gets mouthy, don't leave just yet. Tell him you are tired of him talking back and he can't ALWAYS have the last word. Tell him YOU are the parent and HE is the teenager(don't use child, they hate being called "children")! If he still mouths off, leave. But don't let him have the last word. Let him know you came in here to TALK and if all he wants to do is mouth off, he can just sit in his room. Then leave. Shut the door and go on with your day. You tried.

However, if he doesn't mouth off, leave, letting him know you love him a ton and give him a hug.

Good luck!

Answer 4

Talk to him.  Sit down, go to dinner/lunch, find out what it is that he needs.  He is doing all of this for attention.

Is something different in his life?

Don't treat the behavior, treat the cause!!!

Answer 5

leave him in his room with no phone, no computer, no tv, no bed untill 7:30 and leave his room with a table and chair with books. if he is really bad let him be home-schooled

Answer 6

Try the pity route, that works with my kids. Just cry and tell them how much he's hurting you. Then give him the silent treatment. Trust me, it ALWAYS works.

Answer 7

LOL threaten to GO TO SCHOOL AND RIDE THE BUS WITH HIM!!! that should get the point across. tell him ONE more issue and you will go to every single class with him for the whole day and WHOLE WEEK. he wont act up again cuz he wont be mr cool with his momma sittin next to him and having lunch with him or going from class to class with him. stand right outside the bathroom when he goes. LOL where he goes you will go until he can be a big boy.

Answer 8

Have him do chores that he is not really going to be fond of like washing the car our cleaning out the garage. It may work !!!

Answer 9

He's got other stuff going on besides behavior issues. First of all find a guy to talk to him, one you trust and he trusts. Parent Center counseling groups for you and him, big brother for him or boys and girls club counselors. Sounds like he has some stuff going on and there's no way of guessing, like peer pressure, attention, aggression (frustration/anger), stress, hormones, difficulty with school assignments/teacher, anything. He's looking to get out of those classes, why? Is there anyone just talking to him, friend to friend, not turning into an agrument session or lesson. Good Luck

Answer 10

He's probly going through somthing at school. Talk to him. see whats going on. if hes hangin out with the wrong kids that may also be a problem

good luck

Answer 11

Gosh, I know this is absolutely a last resort, but why not try to find out WHY he's acting out this way?

Answer 12

i don't know your situation obviously but when my parents tried to give me more chores and do too much i eventually said no. and then you're really in a spot. but my parents also went to the extreme and took EVERYTHING away, i didn't even have a door for a while. try to find out why he's doing it, maybe he is trying to be cool in front of his friends, i'm assuming he's not doing good in school if he's being kicked out.

anyways i say talk about it. and maybe if it gets really bad, or isn't getting better threaten to send him to military school or something.

lol actually i like the response right above me more than mine, tell him you will ride the bus with him to school if you can, and say you will take off work to do it if that's an issue. i remember being around that age it wasn't that long ago, i'd straighten up if my parents said that.

but again have dialogue with him and see why he's doing these things, maybe he is being bullied or something you never know. that's actually how it started for me.

Answer 13

If you can, go to school with him for a day or so. When I was in high school this guy in my drama class who always got in trouble's mom did that. She sat right next to him and kept making him participate and answer questions and stuff. He was really embarrassed, but let me tell you, he behaved after that cause he knew if he didn't she'd come back. Nothings worse than having your parent sitting next to you in school all day and knowing everyone else thinks it's funny. Apology letters and chores sound good too.

Answer 14

send him to military school.  he blatently thinks he's in charge and needs to be set straight.

oh and if you havent done so, get him tested for add or deslexia.  he might be having issues and is just giving up because he cant figure out why everything is so hard.

you almost might want to have him drug tested to be safe.

Answer 15

WHOOP HIS ***..

very affective what the h**l is wrong with him... SCHOOL.

getting kicked out of a public place is one thing but class... he needs to know the difference.

and how to act.

respect you and what youre teaching him.... which he does not.

and respect authority period.

goodluck

Answer 16

i would talk with him. see if he is hurting or just plan irritated at something. see if he will talk. (good luck)! but if that don't work see if he can go to a boot camp. straiten him up!!!

Answer 17

my brothers a bit like this.most probs trying to impress others to get a rep.

what ever you do dont partonise. youll probably have to get pretty harsh before he starts to listen.  iosolating him might help. instead of chores just nothing. you could, take anything to do out of his room.

never give up and relax into his behaviour cause then hes won.

Answer 18

sounds like cries for attention. How is your relationship with your son? Are you close? Maybe you should make a date night with him and spend some time with him, find out if there is something that could be going on with him.

Parents always want to punish their kids when they act up. Try talking to him and finding out the underlining cause for the behavior then you can deal with changing the behavior better.

Answer 19

boot camp for kids.

Answer 20

woop his butt!! lol well maybe.. but right now you could just take away cell phone and pick him up and drop him off for school

Answer 21

kick his a s s seabass

Answer 22

sit him down and find out why he is acting this way, if it started recently look for things that he is now doing that he did not do before.sounds like he is seeking attention.

could possibly be drug related also.

Answer 23

Find out if there is some underlying problem to cause his disruptive behavior. It may be some reason that you haven't thought of like he is being bullied at school.

I think the apology letters are a good idea.

Answer 24

G'morning! How old is your son? I have a child who is the same way... HE is only 8!!!! So.. Taking away things only gave him more time on his hands to act out! It didn't work!

What we did, was set up a meeting with the teacher the lunch lady and the principal! We then decided that sending a notebook with him every day so we could monitor his behavior.... ( he didnt like it ) he could no longer tell us the teacher was mean to him, or tell her I was mean to him.... He started to learn he couldn't play one side against the other!

I also made him go whereever I went. If I had to take out garbage he had to do it with me. If I had to go downstairs to do laundry, he was made to be with me and help....

I'll tell you what... I didnt agree with the corner idea for a long time because it can bust his self asteem but when the school councler mentioned it to me... IT seemed to be my last resort!

This was also a good thing... He hated it, and the more he refused the longer he stood there.

We had him seeing the school councler as well once a week.

Sit him down, with the school maybe and see what the problem is? Im sure you might have done this but there is always a SOURCE to the problem!

I also praised him for SMALL things at home, like helping his lil sister pour milk into her sippy cup. The more I praised him the more he reacted to situations in school/home better.

We later found out, it was a. because his dad passed away three years ago, and B his self asteem was pretty low... So getting him into Drawing, and painting and writting in a journal seemed to have helped this issue of behavior!

I know kids are all different at all ages but no matter what age.. its about teahing our kids how to RESPECT adults and their rules!

I hope you can figure it out together, and help him....

Answer 25

Babyblue has the right idea, but if it's a "guy" thing, you may just be the wrong parent to handle it.

But treating the symptom, which is what you're doing, can only cure the symptom.  Tissues don't cure the flu.

Answer 26

Tell him if he gets in trouble you will go to school with him all day and follow him. If he gets in trouble and you really go with him like you told him I bet he will never get in trouble again.

Answer 27

Does your son always act out or has this just started?   Have you considered trying to find out what is at the base of your son's issues?  Perhaps he's acting out for particular reasons -- for instance: being bullied at school, in over his head where the school work is concerned, issues with anger that he can't deal with on his own.  

I agree that most of the time restrictions do work, however, at some point in time they will become meaningless to a teenager (unless they're driving -- that's a good one to take away for a while).   However, restrictions don't work if they're over-done.    After a while, the teenager just won't care -- and then you have depression and self-esteem issues to worry about.

I realize your frustration, I've been there, believe me.  But it might be a good idea to research further why your son is acting the way  he is -- talk to his teachers, find out what he's like in class normally and why he suddenly acted out enough to get thrown out of class.  Find out more about the bus incidents to see if your son was in a way defending himself or if he was an instigator in the behavior that got him kicked off.  All of that makes a big difference in how you should punish him.

And while I know this may sound useless (but trust me, it isn't), you may want to consider taking him to a therapist to find out what the root of his behavior is -- it certainly wouldn't hurt and it may help him to have someone to talk to about issues he can't discuss with  you.  And the therapist can help him learn the skills he needs to control his anger or his behavior (whichever is getting him trouble).    

It's imperative to find out WHY he's acting out the way he is, not just punish the behavior.  And I don't mean, "he got into a fight on the bus and that's why he was kicked off" or "he was belligerent in class and the teacher kicked him out."  What you need to determine is why he got into a fight and why he got belligerent with the teacher (or whatever he did).  Again, it could be because of internal struggles he's having that you don't know about.    And if you know the "why" then you can deal with it better.   Punishing the behavior without solving the internal "why" of the behavior will not fix or change anything long-term.

Answer 28

Talk to him to find out why he is doing this. Could he be on drugs or experimenting? Does he smoke and drink? Does he know what is expected of him? Are there rules that he knows about that are consistent? Does he have a learning disability or a mental disability (autism?)? Has he been tested to rule out common disorders?

My youngest brother was a bit of a trouble maker. It appears that the root cause was ADHD.

Answer 29

Most everyone has put up great answers.  He's obviously have problems somewhere in life.  The one thing I haven't seen suggested is homeschooling.  If it is doable with your lifestyle, I would highly recommend it.  Yes, I  homeschool my two boys (10 and 12)  and it really helps with their attitude.  When you are around them all day, there is no room for disrespect.  

Bottom line:  be respectful to him (it sounds funny but you've got to give respect to get it), let him know you love him frequently and that you're not giving up on him, and be persistent.  Good luck!

Answer 30

My first thought was to get his dad to deal with it, but perhaps he hasn't got one.

Sit down and find out what his problem is. Punishments at this age don't work, they just cause more and more resentment. Is he old enough to leave school? If he's having that many problems, I'd suggest he find an apprenticeship or continue his schooling elsewhere. Here in Australia kids can do their year 11 and 12 through TAFE. There are other options if the school system no longer suits him. Teenagers often have problems because they want more control of their lives than adults will let them have. Tell him your minimum requirements, ask him what his minimum requirements of you are, then compromise on the rest.