Help me resolve this issue, i need to put him down easily?

Question

long story short, all three of us are national guard, the man i want to be with is at basic training, and i got myself into a mess..

i know you might think im a w***e but w.e. i havent done anything with this other guy. so sams the one at basic, the one ive been hanging with is damian and im jackie. i dated sam for a year and never had at interest for anyone other than him since i met him. ive been purposed to 3 times so far i just turned 18, sam purposed to me , so did damian and i just met him, the other guy isnt anything special just a fighter pilot. anyways sam broke up with me before he left i dont know why. well about a week later i met damian, and weve been hanging out and yes we have kissed but thats all.

thing is i dont want to be with damian and yes its my fault for leading him on but i not once lied to him i told him about my situation and everything, but this past weekend he took me to pheonix to meet his family so it makes me think its kinda serious to him at least. I WANT TO BE HIS FRIEND, so i want to let him off easily.

HOW DO I DO THAT!?!?! ok thats all

Answer 1

This sounds 100% military to me. Military guys (reserve, active, guard, whatever) are all hasty in their decisions with women. The divorce rate for civilians is about 50%- Military to military? Closer to 80% ... You as well sound like a typical insecure, unable to make her own decisions military chick. The only part that doesn't sound typical is the not sleeping around part (which is very good on you for not doing it).

You led him on, nobody forced you to take that trip. You've dug this hole for yourself, and there is only one way to fix it. You have to stand up for yourself and stop it now before you "wonder" how to do it any longer. He'll probably be the normal Mil ******, but he'll get over it. Now, the real question is if Sam is going to want you back. During this time you should be doing some serious self improvement, but instead you've dug yourself a deeper hole. Honesty is your answer. Good luck.