Help me stop my addictive behavior while I'm still young?

Question

I'm 19

I took a Percocet just to try it first, indifferent, and I realized it released a tension in my chest that I had become a custom to feeling all the time. I felt good. Didn't want to do it all the time, but it seems every 2 days I needed to take one.

By night time my anxiety usually becomes unbearable. Either I can't stop crying, can't stand being in my own skin, or can't sleep, can't stop thinking.

After I take it, it's as if I'm clear headed and can realize it's not so bad and think, okay, I don't need Percocet, I'm okay now...but I can't get that reassurance without it, and the anxiety comes back, and I feel so weak for not being able to remember/recreate what it feels like to be okay.

I've decided that I am not going to do it anymore. I'm starting to scare myself. Drinking isn't my thing, I used to smoke pot everyday, all day. I haven't done that in a week or so. I don't plan on smoking anymore. I have anxiety issues, but medicating them with drugs (including Dr. prescribed anti-anxiety medication) seems like an endless trap.

I seem to have gotten off topic... I've been taking Percocet for about 2 months now. Could I have caused permanent damage to my brain? I mean..did it cause me to loose my ability to be happy?

All of this stuff...it doesn't fit into my idea of my perfect life. I know that. This seems so stupid, and young, but it seems to be getting scary now. I want to be done with this. I just want to get lost in life, like other people. I know we all have issues, problems. But I just don't want to be stuck in my head all the time...I thought maybe eating only healthy food, loosing weight, exercising would help me, as it helps with depression, but it seems I have just corrupted it, exhausted it, abused it, as with any coping mechanism.

Any suggestions?

Thanks

Answer 1

Why did you give up smoking pot? It is not nearly as bad as people say it is. Try smoking with friends, as a social thing. It will blow your stress/anxiety away.

Answer 2

It sounds like you have nowhere to exhaust your energy.  Actually, it sounds as if you're bored.  Think about it...if you were laying around smokin pot all day....OF COURSE YOU ARE GOING TO GET ANXIOUS!!!  

Re-think the people you are hanging around with.  Good suggestion, put yourself in a more active social circle...sports, reading, dance...

You sound like an intelligent girl that is stuck with a boring crowd of people...

As for the pills,...you're ok now...but you don't want to be on that road.  STOP USING NOW...  people ruin the rest of their lives messing with that sh*t.  I know a girl in jail right now that has thrown away EVERYTHING...it's not something someone needs who just needs activity and some positive meantal stimulation.  

Answer 3

As per reading your story I think you are highly depressed...Dont worry...u can get out of it...dont try any medication as it wont help...try to be happy from inside.....spend most of ur time with ur friends, family or ur any close and loved one.....

I hope u can do it....just dont lose hope..

Ganbatte(its a japanese word....to be strong n not to lose hope)

Answer 4

It sounds like you need percocet, legally. Talk to your doctor about your anxiety.

oh and taking anti anxiety pills is not going to trap you. I have OCD and I had to be on medications for it, and once I felt like I could handle stress (the drug kinda teaches you how) I was fine. I have been off it for 2 years now. And no, the medication won't damage you or they wouldn't sell it to people.

Answer 5

in my view i think you need percocet and anti depressants. you will be anxous though so dont worry things will get better. depression is bad it can spiral out of control very easily [i should know] just go and see a pychaitrist bout your dperession. they will help you get over it.