Help me to make her accept the reality. I have so much sorrow for that poor little thing?

Question

I’m married and I am currently having an affair with a married man. We work in the same Ministry; we spend lots of time together. We are also great friends and he is very dear to me. His wife was pregnant while we started to be lovers. I know his wife as well as his children since I’ve been to his place a couple of time under the guise of his close friend.

The problem is with her ex mistress who does not seem to understand that he wants her out of his life; he wants to be with me. He could not get rid of her because she was much in love with him, it’s true that he did go to meet her a few times when we were together but he did it out of pity for her. When she learned accidentally about our relationship, I talked to her like a big sister. I made it a priority to make her realize of the importance I have in the life of my lover. I think she could not accept that between me and this man, we do not share a sexual relationship but a much deeper one whereas with her, it was more sexual. My lover said that she’s still single and he could not give her more to avoid her from developing too strong ties with him.

What to do when a girl refuses to see the reality? How to make her accept the reality?

Answer 1

It seems to me you are the one refusing to accept reality. This man is playing you, his wife, and his so called ex mistress. If he really wanted to be with you he wouldn't still be with his wife. If he really wanted to be with his wife he wouldn't be with you. If he really didn't want to be with his ex mistress he wouldn't have gone to meet her. If you think nothing happened when he went to meet her your an idiot. Besides that you are just as bad as he is considering you are deceiving his wife. My advice, cut ties with this man and consider yourself lucky to get rid of him. He obviously has a problem with commitment.  

Answer 2

LOL - no offence but how old are you - im hoping this is jsut some bored 12 year old with a wild imagination.. i might be coming across as harsh but wow you really are either blind or just i dont know your head's screws seems to have come right off.

the guy is married... YOURE married.. he has one mistress already - YOU - plus another mistress - HER  -  you seem to have deluded yourself into believing you and him share something rare and special - just the way his other mistress must have felt - and just the way his wife feels - and youre here asking people why shes not accepting reality???  i swear i hope to god this is just a joke out of boredom.

but just incase its not boy do i feel sorry your poor bugger of a husband who i hope finds out about your affair and leaves you asap as someone like you wouldnt deserve a second chance because you dont seem to be mature enough for a marriage let alone a 2nd chance i dont think much would change about the way you perceive things... mind you i am 20, and i feel sorry for you. i dont know how people like you ever get married to begin with. but anyway lets spare that c**p -

LEAVE the married man alone he has a wife and kids for gods sake - a family whom YOUVE met and been 2 faced and backstabbing towards - so if he happens to leave his wife one day and his kids and come to you - which wouldnt be so bad you two deserve each other - h**l be having other mistresses around you who will be feeling as though they are sharing something special with him...

do you see where im trying to go with all this? i am constantly trying to emphasise the cycle... because you seem to be ... im not even going to say it because insulting you i dont think would even matter.

please grow up and stop breaking up happy marriages then getting angry at others who are on the same boat along side you.

i also hope that your husband is having an affair atleast then itll feel alittle more justified. - i am a libra i need to have equality and justice or i get pretty fired up as i am right now!!!!