Help me to make her understand the reality. i have so much sorrow for her?

Question

I’m married and I am currently having an affair with a married man. We work in the same Ministry; we spend lots of time together. We are also great friends and he is very dear to me. His wife was pregnant while we started to be lovers. I know his wife as well as his children since I’ve been to his place a couple of time under the guise of his close friend.

The problem is with his ex mistress who does not seem to understand that he wants her out of his life; he wants to be with me. He could not get rid of her because she was much in love with him, it’s true that he did go to meet her a few times when we were together but he did it out of pity for her. When she learned accidentally about our relationship, I talked to her like a big sister. I made it a priority to make her realize of the importance I have in the life of my lover. I think she could not accept that between me and this man, we do not share a sexual relationship but a much deeper one whereas with her, it was more sexual. My lover said that she’s still single and he could not give her more to avoid her from developing too strong ties with him.

What to do when a girl refuses to see the reality? How to make her accept the reality?

Answer 1

Personally , I pity all of you ! What a sick and twisted story ! Do you really want to jeaprodise your marriage for a man who is never gonna make a life with you ? You need to step back and look at the situation , he is using you just like he did her and just like he will the next lady . He wants his cake and to eat it too . This man is a manipulater and you are 2 faced going to his house and acting like a friend when his family opened their home to you . Do you think GOD would really approve of this ? I say no matter how you mask it or try to justify it ,  that this is WRONG ! You need to stop trying to act like his savior and save yourself , he is a dirt bag . You all need to face reality !

Answer 2

thats messed up, first of all if she fell for him its probably because he was pretending to have more than just a sexual affair as he is making you think now again, in a couple of years or maybe months you will be the same as that girl and be in love with him while he has a new lover,   it is just wrong to cheat and to think yourself more loved with him than your husband while he is probably just rejoicing in having a lover because he sounds like an ****** cheater/ player, free yourself from his confusion cycle and believe in the love that made you marry your husband in the first place.  

Answer 3

You're married ... he's married ...  his wife is pregnant ... you work in a ministry ... the whole thing is just WRONG.

Answer 4

How about the woman having an affair with a man in her MINISTRY stop trying to philosophize about some other woman and take caree of her own issues?

Try getting things straight with your own guy before you worry about someone else's reality.

Answer 5

Is this a joke you said she needs to move on because he has something deep with you and it was just s*x with her baby it's just s*x with you to. You just said the reason he got rid of her is because she wanted more and was getting to into him. So in other words he is with you because he thinks you wont give him problems in his marriage which means he wants to still keep his marriage which means he just wants s*x from you both of you are the same you and the other mistress you are both blind.

Answer 6

Well....ain't this the pot calling the kettle black? Duh! What planet do you live on? It can't be earth because...you are that woman...You are in love with a married man, if he tried to break his ties with you....you would feel the same way she does. You think this is a forever kind of thing, but rest assured...its not! I know he has told this same ole sob story to all his mistresses, the wife won 't do this and the wife don't do that, he don't love her anymore but he can't divorce her...oh god...thought I had heard it all...And the worse part about any of it....it is all done in the name of Jesus...now let's get back to the planet in which you live...it can't be here because my Jesus is against adultery ...and those that do commit sins are in danger of h**l fire.

Answer 7

Wow, what a pot calling the kettle black. Remove yourself from the equation, you shameless cheat.

Answer 8

Anyone whose reality is as out of whack as yours needs professional help. And your lover sounds just as dishonorable bringing you home  while his wife is pregnant. How does your husband factor into this little game you're both playing, do you have a lot of sorrow for him too? How about his wife and child, more sorrow? You sound mentally ill and need to see a professional.