Help me understand Alimony?

Question

Let's see... you raise a child for 18 years, who relies on you completely for support and at 18, you can say, "bye son/daughter, it's time you made it on your own".

In a divorce, you are married for 18 years, and your soon-to-be Ex, can get "taken care of" for an endefinite amount of time?

So, a spouse can reduce him/herself to that of less than a child?

Sick that any adult would expect to force another human to take care of them as punishment for a failed marraige.

ANY COMMENTS???

By the way, I understand the concept of having paid the bills while the other went through medical school etc.. Or where both contributed to a mutual business.

I am more talking about a spouse who did mostly NOTHING in the marraige, and now wants to be compensated.

Answer 1

In our particular state you can't get alimony unless you can prove cheating.

So, is that the case with you?  If you did and got caught, that is your "fine".  Along with thinking that you were doing the noble thing by not making your wife work and help out with paying the bills.  I made that mistake and it bit me in the A**.

Answer 2

It depends on what you think of as doing nothing in the marriage.

Close friends mother gave up great career (As a dental surgeons assistant) to stay at home and raise their children, clean the house and see to all the families needs, husbands request by the way. Once all the children where in their teens or older he decided he wanted to be free to find younger women who were more exciting and left her. She is a wonderful and smart woman who has not had a job for over 20 years, again at her husbands request.

She was awarded alimony until she remarries which I think is very just.  

Answer 3

Ya, that sucks!  I can see helping for a little while until the other spouse gets on their feet, but indefinitely??  That's just wrong!

Answer 4

Women are mostly weak in cases of divorce and would rather seek alimony payments or spousal support to have money to party on getting back at you and that sounds like your scenario or she can be a strong woman, get out and leave and ask for nothing, but lets face it...you'd be better leaving and paying her spousal support than alimony. Spousal support length terms are up to the Judge if you and her cannot come to terms.

My friend's wife got $360.00 a month spousal support for two years and after that she is cooked.

Answer 5

Money is easy to see...you see money in bank accounts and material things...so it's easy to see that the person with the job did something.  The person who stays home hasn't necessarily did nothing.  That person could do the dishes and laundry, keep the house tidy, pay the bills so and so forth without any help from the working spouse...but people don't see that add up.  Whose place is it to decide which job was more important.  The dynamics to every relationship are different so I think these things should probably be determined on a case by case basis.  I think there are instances where people should be compensated and instances where people shouldn't be compensated...and if someone is compensated it shouldn't be to the point that the working person shouldn't be able to care for themselves.