Help me understand depression!?

Question

I know what depression is, but why? How is it chemically balance?

My dad committed suicide 5 years ago - 2 weeks after I had a baby he hung himself in the basment. I know its not my fault, me and my dad were so close was he not happy being a grandfather? does this chemically balance cuase this? how is depression chemically balnaced? For the longest time I had so many mix emotions. When first I found out my family - (mother) lied to me in my face saying he had a heart attack. I guess she didnt want to break the news to me after having a baby. Witch I thought was so wrong of her to do and I still hate her for that! The day I found out how he died was on his fruneral and not a way I wanted to find out. Anyway Why do I feel ashamed for his death, when people ask me how he died or diagnoses I say "heart attack". I can't even talk to anyone about this cause im afraid of what they think of me!!! As im so clueless on what to do any advice cause this been eating me up for 5 years ...

Answer 1

I am not a psychiatrist but I am someone who has suffered with major depression for years.  After reading your question, I think that you need an answer from someone who has actually experienced depression, and not just the doctor terms about depression since you stated that you do know what depression is.  

First off, it is your right to tell people how your father died if you feel comfortable telling that person and also your right to either not tell them at all or make something up.  If you are more comfortable telling them that he had a heart attack then that's what you tell them.  That is your personal family business and although people may mean well when asking, you don't have to tell them.  

Depression is very hard to live with.  I believe that I do have a chemical imbalance because even when things in my life are going great, I still feel depressed.  I do take an anti-depressant everyday and also anxiety medication, but it took years to find the right medications for me.  There are so many medications out there and many of them have terrible side effects from not being able to sleep-which will make you even more depressed-to constipation, suicidal thoughts and the list goes on.  Fortunately, I have finally found medications that work for me and have no side effects that I am aware of.  When I get really depressed, it is so bad that I become suicidal.  I feel sick physically also when I am really depressed.  My body aches, and I just feel weak all over.  Thoughts race through my head, especially thoughts of suicide because I just want to stop feeling so down.  It's hard to think about how killing yourself would effect the people in your life when you feel like a burden to them because of your illness.  Please don't ever blame yourself for your father's death.  Know that he was very sick, depression is an illness and it is not anyone's fault.  It just happens, like cancer or any other illness.  God bless you.  I pray that this has helped you.  I have two children 12 year old son and 9 year old daughter and I love them with all of my heart, but I still got so depressed a couple years back that I tried to end my life so know that your dad loved you very much, he was just very ill.  

Answer 2

Hello.

I'm sorry for the pain your situation is causing you. It sounds like you have two big questions.

One, you're wondering what made your father suicide.

Two, you are asking how can depression be caused by a chemical imbalance.

The third issue that is important to you right now is you're afraid of what people will think of you if you tell them the truth about how your father died.

I would like to help you. I think the best I can do is give you a good link to a site that explains how depression is caused.

http://www.clinical-depression.co.uk/Dep...

That is the site. It talks about how depression can be caused by a chemical imbalance.

I'm not sure if it is possible to ever understand exactly what your Father may have been thinking when he decided to take his life. But I know that you can make peace with this sad situation. But that is beyond my ability.

May I suggest grief counseling to you?  A grief counselor is specially trained in this area, and will help you sort through your thoughts and feelings concerning your father's suicide. It will help you a lot, I think, to spend some time talking to a grief counselor who is there for you- to listen and help you work through your thoughts and feelings.

When you work through your thoughts and feelings, you will have much much more peace. Then you will be more able to tell the people you choose about how your father passed away.

I'm sorry for your pain right now. And I'm sure there is an answer. It will take some time to work your feelings out with a Grief Counselor. But it will give you much peace.

I wish you peace.

God bless.

Answer 3

I have suffered from depression since I was a teenager.Please dont feel guilty for what some else does.You have no control over other people's actions even if it is your father.Depression is frequently mis-understood.It doesnt matter what you have in your life.For example it doesnt matter how much money,family or love you have a dark cloud hangs over your emotions. With the help of the LORD I have overcome depression. Sadly some never do.I have never taken medication for my depression, I am certain it helps some people.Remember tho you are not responsible for other people's actions and some good advice is to not worry bout what other people think cause you cant please them anywaze,they will always want more. I hope this helps some.May GOD bless you.