Help me with my unruly teen daughter!

Question

17 year old daughter. Smart, beautiful. Began showing problems in grade 8. Therapy started for some cutting(doesn't anymore) Mild depression diagnosed. Mood improved. Grades worsened, started using pot, angry alot. Failed every class in gr 11. Fired from 2 part-time jobs. She recognizes there are problems and vows to make changes this year. No problems through the summer, yet. She has just undergone some psychological testing (learning, vocational, personality) I am worried that she has not shown any positive growth and want to do the best to help her. Her dad and I are married (have been for 18 years) and we have an older son 19, who is doing well. No abuse that I know of. Any suggestions?

Answer 1

im sorry but its probably what you dont want to hear, you know yourself you cannot compare her to her brother( let alone anyone) i feel that you are putting a h**l of alot of pressure on her right now,its sounds like your dismissing every decision she makes...just breathe sit back, im sure shes no idiot....try to put yourself in her shoes,maybe she doesnt know where shes heading,maybe shes just finding herself and perhaps what YOU want for her is nothing like what SHE wants? Sit down with her( when she is ready) and simply ask her where shes at where she wants to be and if your daughter simply is not ready to make concrete decisions on her future so what? theres no time limit and for all the testing and evaluations your making her do,you might actually be creating a disorder for her,from my life experience.....please mum,just take off the drill sergeant uniform and be her mate, this might be a chance for you to enjoy being a free spirited woman again,do something you never got to do...as a woman not a mum.........xxxxxxxx

Answer 2

Try to spend time with her and tell her that you love her. But if you already are and she says that's too much, then give her some space.

Answer 3

Do what you are already doing. Psychotherapy is all that you can really do to help her.

Answer 4

Maybe she is using more than pot...maybe harder drugs

Answer 5

I don't know your situation but she is probably crying out to be understood. Don't make her feel that she has a phycological problem. Try to understand Her on Her level. Oh and by the way smoking pot is not the worst thing a 17 year can do. You need to correct this obviously in a different way before She starts experimenting in other things. GOOD LUCK!!!!

Answer 6

Maybe she needs some more mom/daughter time. How often do you guys communicate and spend time together? She's going through a tough phase in her life (also known as adolescence) and she needs a lot of guidance by the sounds of it.