Help me write a LIMERICK! It's fun! About a guy named James Bender.. 10pts best answer?

Question

I've accidentally started the tradition of "Limerick Thursday" out at my work. The guy I work with's name's James Bender, he drives a ute, has "famous balls" in Launceston (long story, the old ladies love em), red hair, goatee, etc, so anything like "s*x offender, gender bender, fender, splendour, pretender, rear-ender" will work, although it doesn't have to use his last name as the rhyme.

Also work with Max, an effeminate g*y guy who everyone loves, Nathan, Jimmy (who needs his own special limericks, possibly even his own book of them), so any limericks using their names would be fantastic.

Cheers to all who contribute! Thank you so very much!

Answer 1

I tasted her kiss, it was tender

My heart, it felt love's sweet surrender

Yet James Bender, my friend

Confidante 'til the end

said, "I've had her and can't reccomend her."

I was baffled by his dark decree

And I wondered o'er what I couldn't see

So for words to console

I tapped Nathan's soul

but all he said was, "She was too loose for me."

Now I haven't seen her in years

And I've long since quit shedding tears

And for solace I've found

No one better around

then dear Max, though he pinches my rear

Answer 2

This guy named James Bender

Was a very poor spender.

Squeezed ev'ry dollar

To make it holler

He was shunned by the opposite gender.

Answer 3

i once knew a guy named james bender,

he once made a dent in my fender,

and with his red hair,

gave the old ladies a scare,

and now he's a public defender.™

this is mine, people!!!--^

Answer 4

There once was a man named Bender

Who put his personal parts in the blender.

They found his great balls

Against Launceston's walls,

And now he's of unknown gender.