Help - my 7 year old is being emotionally bullied by a girl at school!?

Question

The last month or so, my daughter has been going to the nurses office with a stomach ache and a headache at least one time a week. For a bit I thought she was coming down with something, but it came out that she is upset about a girl in class being mean to her. My first instinct is to tell her to spend time with other friends and try to help refocus her attention to happier things, (I know she will have to deal with the cruel truth of bullies and snotty girls for many years to come unfortunately) but her best friend is friends with this little girl and I can clearly see that the girl who is being cruel to my daughter is jealous and is trying to put herself in between my daughter and her friend. Her friend is still in the oblivious stage as most 7 year olds happily should be, so I don;t think she is seeing what is going on. I am not sure how to address this with my daughter. She is very sensitive and kind and she is so upset it just kills me. Help!

Answer 1

I personally have dealt with emotional bullying like that and around your daughter's age. First try and find out what the little girl says and how your daughter reacts. If this little girl likes to make your daughter upset, then ask your daughter to try to ignore the girl (less power to the girl, less pleasure out of it). Second, tell her to tell the teacher when the little girl does this. If the teacher doesn't fix the problem or contact the child's parent's, then you need to personally contact them. Or if you wish, you could tell the principal to get the problem fixed since bullying is against the law now. As far as your daughter's emotional state goes, try and comfort her. Give her compliments to sort of counteract the little girl's. This will improve her self-esteem and encourage her. Eventually it will help her medical pains. Hope that helps!

Answer 2

Here is an option...

beside tell on the girl

to a teacher

I have a 7 year old daughter

and I homeschool...

yes there are times

of going on field trips with

other kids..socialization

with a group called

www.leah.org

actually harvard and yale

are recruiting homeschool kids

they are number 1 if not close to it

in spelling bees

I said all that to say

I believe it is the one on one attention they

get...

You can do it...

it takes time, patient

and some determination to help

your child to succeed..

It could be another

outlet...

Answer 3

This is a toughie because on one hand you want your child to learn the skills to overcome the bullies in life but on the other hand, you feel a responsibility to protect your child against all sorts of meanies and unfair people. Not to mention I bet your school has a "no-tolerance" bully policy.  BUT I bet they don't have any written actions or consequences when bullying occurs.  (And we all know a rule without a consequence isn't a rule at all.)  If you've encouraged and supported your child to try to solve it (or ignore it) on their own and it's still causing a problem I would go to the principal wtih policy book in hand and ask her to start having the teacher document the behaviors as well as get the principal to state what they will do about bullying.

Good luck to you! As a mom of a sensitive and sweet 9 year old boy who had the same problem, I feel your pain.

Answer 4

been there! Do what I did. Go straight to the teacher. She is trained to deal with this. She can have a chat with the class on bullying and how to deal with it and the right and wrong way of dealing with it.

Answer 5

Destiny is right - most primary schools have bullying policies & special programes for dealing with this kinds of incidences so report it to the principle and let the school deal with it from there.

Don't forget that you are only hearing your daughters point of view on this issue, the other girl might not be saying anything but your daughter could be perceiving that she is being mean because she is having fun with her other friend & they are leaving your daughter out.

I'm not saying that's right but it's a possibility unless you have proof otherwise - all the more reason to let the school deal with it.

Good luck, I hope your daughter is smiling again soon - being bullied is not fun, I remember those days!

Answer 6

I'm in my thirties and I suffer from anxiety and depression due to being bullied emotionally by a bunch of girls when I was 5-13 years old. At the time my parents talked to the principal and talked to the other girls parents (which made things worse). Looking back, it would have been beneficial to have had some professional counselling by a psychologist/psychiatrist (outside the school).

Answer 7

Maybe you could talk to the principal of the school about the bully. Bullying is against the rules at most schools ( especially grade schools ) so a principal would be a big help.

Answer 8

Get some kind of government youth and family services agency involved to find out what the problems are in the bully's home that make a 7 year old act out with such anger. The bully needs counseling and she should be moved to another school.