Help my 7yr old is out of control!?

Question

my 7 yr old daughter has been throwing major tantrums when she cant get her own way. she screams, yells, hurls abuse at me and her father, she has even kicked and punched us. i am at my wits end. we have tried being calm an talking to her, we have tried time out, taking possessions away, grounding, yelling doesn't work and a spanking is pointless (which i don't like doing anyway). an example was last night, she wouldn't eat her dinner. we calmly told her there is nothing else and you will have to go to bed if you don't eat. this set her off in to a rage. 1 an half hrs later she calmed down however during this"episode" she kicked her little brother. this is in no way good for her little brother and sister to see and hear. i am worried she may have mental health issues as it runs in the family on both sides . any advice would be great on what to do. thanks

Answer 1

super nanny

Answer 2

It sounds like you've tried a wide range of things.  Hopefully you've tried them long enough to see if it would work with persistence.  But it sounds like you're at the point where you need to seek help.  If mental health issues run on both sides and you're seeing signs in her, it sounds like you should probably seek help from a pediatric psychologist.  Perhaps her school would have a service you could seek help from?  Good luck.  It's not easy dealing with a child with mental health issues like this.  I grew up with a sister who had some mental health issues...

Answer 3

Agree with previous posts re supernanny!  I asked my sister for the DVD for xmas last year - best present she ever got me!  Even if your exact situation isn't replicated on the DVD, her tips are very empowering.  Would still get her checked out, try and get referral to a paediatrician perhaps? If the tantrums have only started recently (in the last few months) then I'd say there's a good chance something has happened to trigger them - she may be very unhappy about smthg and if you haven't noticed she may feel angry and unloved and hence the "orrid behaviour.

Answer 4

Try family counseling and do activities like take her 2 chuckie chesses with a friend............

Answer 5

I'm with you. My 8 year old has really been testing me. I find time outs in a room alone for awhile chill her out and gives me a chance to calm down. I think it's the age. Pushing the limits. But it never hurts to have them checked by a professional. Good luck!

Answer 6

I'm sure shes not mentally ill, it is just that something is bothering her. When shes not throwing a tantrum and shes calm, say: ...... We have been noticing that youve been getting upset a lot lately, is something wrong or making you upset...shes 7, most 7 year olds wont be secretive from their parents when asked. Maybe she is jealous of a sibling or just wants more of your attention.

Answer 7

I got the yard stick across my ****. Straight as an hour after that thing broke..

Answer 8

think you are right take her to a Doctor soon sounds like she needs medication

Answer 9

you should take her to a doctor. they'll tell you or tell you someone that knows if something is wrong with her, and/or how to stop the violent temper tantrums.  

Answer 10

when i was little, a Leather Belt set me straight.

Answer 11

First take her to a doc and have them run  test  if they come back good

get a paddle and hang it on the wall tell her the first time she throws a tamtrem you will use it ,then when she does use it .That should make her stop.

Answer 12

sometimes you have to give them candy....

Answer 13

as young as she is you must let her know who is running the show. a good spanking and some timeouts, sit in the corner punishment is appropriate. she does all of those things (abuse, kick etc.) bacause you let her do  it to you at an early stage. she knows that if she do these things she would have her way or whatever she wanted. and knowing she has to share attention with her siblings this is the best way for her to get more attention.

remember you are supposed to be the parents and your'e supposed to be the boss, let her know that next to god, you are the most powerfull person on earth.

just remember to reward her with love and attention if she did good? because if you ignore her good deeds and behaviour all the punishment will be for nothing. and nope a new toy is not a reward. a softer loving voice is.

  

Answer 14

well it's hard to say whether she has mental health issues based on 1 example, but if you are concerned, then take her to be assessed.  

I don't know what kind of parent you are, so it's hard for me to guess as to what the problem is.  I do know that kids who are spoiled, who always get what they want, tend to throw the biggest tantrums when they are actually told no.

Can I ask why you told her she would have to go to bed because she chose not to eat?  That seems strange to me.  Sometimes kids aren't hungry, I don't think it warrants a punishment.  You could've simply just said that she wouldn't get anything different to eat, or wouldn't get desert.

All I can say is when my child starts throwing a tantrum, and is not calmed by a hug or me trying to talk them down, they are told to immediately go to their room, if I have to physically move them there then I do.  When they are ready to talk politely, then they can come out.

Answer 15

every time she starts screaming (and i know it sounds bad) but slap her across the face hard, so that she cries instead of screaming. because obviously rational actions do not work on irrational people. if she refuses to eat and you say you will send her to bed and she throws a tantrum, pick her up and throw her on her bed. and slam the door. the trick is to make yourself seem madder then she is because it will totally throw her off. next time you cook a dinner and she has misbehaved don't fix her a plate and tell her if she wants to eat she can cook her own food. it's the best way to discipline your kids.  

Answer 16

take her to a child psychologist. a dr. wont do anything but offer you ADHD meds ( I doubt). I feel for you.

Answer 17

record one of her tantrums on a camcorder and then show her how silly she looks afterwards, this way she will see her mistake with her own eyes from a different perspective and learn from it i think.

Answer 18

Buy supernanny's book / copy what she does on TV

Keep strong, don't let your techniques slip because 1 slip will ruin it all

Answer 19

Maybe see a doctor that specializes in child behavior. Sorry I don't know much about the subject, but I'd say that if it's serious where she's hitting and kicking and such, and you don't know how to stop her and have tried everything you can think of, then I think you might want to see someone who specializes in helping children who have really really bad tantrums. Good luck with your daughter!

Answer 20

back in the day, a good butt wooping would solve all the problems of mankind. but of course your a loving nurturing mother and you dont want her to hate you.....so just a swat on the behind will do just fine. not anything hard to leave marks are anything.

Answer 21

Express your concerns to your family doctor and have him do some tests on her. If everythings okay (and I hope it is) there is always Supernanny!