Help my parents are ruining my life!?

Question

well I'm 13 and i should be able to go out with my friends but i cant because I'm a asian girl(not being offence) who has rules and one of the rules is that i cant go out with my friends until I'm married now please try to imagine how boring my life is and how i am always stuck at home or if i wanna go out for e.g cinema,shopping, restaurants etc.. i have to with my family .help what should i do? i have already spoke to my mum about it she said I'm go in to have to wait until I'm married i mean come on that's soo far away.

Answer 1

that IS unfair. i mean all parents have rules for their kids and when they are allowed to go out. but waiting till you're married is just ridiculous. if they can't understand, and i was in your position.. i'd just sneak out. i mean really.. what can they do? ground you? it's not like you're allowed going anywhere anyways..

Answer 2

It must be difficult. It sounds like not only are you stuck between 2 cultures, but you also have to put up with us parents and our worries and cares for you. Contrary to what we try to get you all to believe, we are not perfect, don't know everything and do get things wrong.

Why not try talking calmly to your parents about how you feel? It probably will not change their minds straightaway, but it might help them to understand you and you to understand them. It might also help convince them of your maturity and trustworthiness as you grow older. There may be some compromise you can reach with them, such as going out with a trustworthy relative, etc. If it helps, you can try and point out to them diplomatically that you did not ask to be born/live in the country/culture where you are now living but there are consequences to such decisions. That will inevitably include cultures merging and growing and taking in things from each other.

I hope that helps. Good luck

Answer 3

try and explain to your mum/dad about it, try and get them to remember wat it was like to be 13 i mean i'm 14 and would prob die if i'm not aloud out. maybe earn there trust or just beg for you life worked for me

or try the crying thing u no the guilty trip

i use that all the time

Answer 4

It's very difficult being in a family where culture and possibly religion rules. I have a muslim friend and she goes to her aunt's house, her aunt is young and understands so lets her go out etc.

If you parents cannot understand maybe you could look around for family members who do and will let you go out and go places with you without your parents stopping you.

Answer 5

that is soo unfair =[ u shuld talk 2 ure mum n tell her that that is nt how ppl live their lives, young people are out and are havin fun n enjoying themselves, u should be able to b part of that, ure friends are goin to drift away if u keep refusing invitations.

Ask your mum if she'll let u go if someone takes u 2 the cinema + u come straight back after the movie, mayb that way she'll loosen up a little bit and start to let u hav a bit more freedom

I hope ure mum will give u some flexibility in wh]at you can do.

=] Sara =]

xSarax

Answer 6

i honestly think that's really unfair too. you should be able to have a social life i get to know what the real world is like, and by that i mean like going out to places with your friends. and, what if you don't want to get married? ahah. but seriously, maybe you could try talking to your parents again in a nice way and stay calm and tell them why you think that's unfair. i know nobody with that rule and some parents around where i live are pretty strict. good luck!

Answer 7

just  tell  them

Answer 8

There is no easy answer to that Pink, your parents are very traditional and nothing you say is going to change that. You are just going to have to put up with it for at least another 3 years - dont think that i am not sympathetic, i am, but some things you just cannot change - at your age!

Answer 9

My sister's best friend in school was an asian girl whose mum had similar rules.  What Shafana did was invite our mum to their house to meet her mum and talk about the girls going out for the day for shopping and cinema and things.  

At first her mum was very disagreeable but they came to an arrangement where my mum took my sister and Shafana out to the cinema and shopping a few times, then after a while Shafanas mum began to trust her a little more and allowed her to go out without supervision.  

It takes time to build up trust with your parents, maybe if you explain to your mum that you can be trusted and ask her to give you an opportunity to build that trust.  Ask if you can go out with your friend and their mum or something, introduce them so your mum knows who you are going to be with.  

Good luck.

Answer 10

Whether your Asian or not, it shouldn't make a difference.  You deserve some freedom already!  Keep asking her about it and keep pushing it.  Don't be afraid to take some risks, too!