Help my social anxiety?

Question

ok so it's hard for me to connect with ppl. I make a few friends but slowly over time. there is this new guy in church I think I'd connect with, but we really don't have much in common. What do I talk about without sounding lame??

Answer 1

If you don't have anything in common that you can see then why do you want to meet this person?   Find people who share your interests first. It's effortless to make friends with people who share similar interests.

<addendum>  once you meet people around you that you can connect to, you will likely increase your chances of meeting this person later.  If not you may meet someone better or at least you increased your social bubble.

Answer 2

Just ask him what kind of stuff he is interested in and talk to him about that.  People typically like talking about themselves, so that is a good way to get to know someone.  More than likely, you will find you have more in common than you think.  Also, if you are in the same church, ask him his opinion on the sermon, or whether he is involved in any organizations in the church, etc.  At least that way you know that it is one thing you have in common and can discuss without feeling uncomfortable.

Answer 3

There is nothing wrong with trying to find common ground with someone that you feel is different from you. You may be surprised by his reaction if you simply introduce yourself and discuss a topic that you both have an interest in. If you don't know what that is yet, you may start by talking about the sermon. One conversation can easily lead to the next and you never know if you don't try. I had a similar experience with a girl I met recently and we changed the subject all night and found that we actually do have a lot in common. Besides, what makes you think you don't have much in common with this guy if you haven't given it a shot? Don't worry about sounding lame because in most cases the person you are approaching is just as nervous, if not more so than you are.