Help my sons girlfriend is a controlling Witch?

Question

My 16 year old son has been going out with his girlfriend for 2 years and she is getting worse.

At first she wasn't so bad but now she has an opinion all the time. She tells him that he shouldn't be listening to us and has told me to my face to get used to her because she is not going anywhere. This is his first girlfriend and love

but she is ruining our relationship. I don't want to lose my son but I can't stand her and she constantly tries to start fights between us if she can't get her way. I have tried to smile and nod at her and hope this thing will end but its not and is just getting worse. IF I tell him that he is making a mistake with her he says its his to make but it breaks my heart to watch her ruin his life. Now she is trying to convince him to go away to school and go in debt 40000 just to be near her even though the same course is offered here. Any body got any ideas on how to get rid of her. I'm afraid the next thing will be she will get pregnant to keep him and has already allienated all his friends and family.

I thought I raised him to be strong and kind and smart but somehow things have gone horibly wrong.

Ps :he is a great looking kid has a job(which she would like him to quit) and would have no trouble finding someone else. Is there anyway to help him see what is going on before its too late

HELP PLEASE

Answer 1

tell her she is no longer welcome in YOUR home because of her being rude to you. tell your son he can see her on certain days at her home and thats it. be strict. he's NOT an adult. you have all the control and power. use it.

Answer 2

Wow, wow, wow, wow, wow!  The joys of having a teenager, right?  If you speak against the relationship...he will hate you for it...if you don't you will hate yourself for it.  So...you have to reach a happy middle.  

He's your son...he is a minor...so you should still have some control over his life.  FIRST OFF...that chick would not be disrespecting me!  And I'd let her know it.  If she can't respect me...she is NO LONGER WELCOMED IN MY HOME.  What she and your son do outside the home you can't control too much, because let's be honest...we can't control every single thing they do...not at 16.  I'm the type of mother to let her know...not to get it twisted...I will always be his mother...but...she is just the girlfriend.  I will always be in his life...she on the other hand may not.  If we decided to pack up and move to China...he would be with me...but her behin' would still be exactly where she is...so DO NOT GET IT TWISTED!

Second, you need to sit your son down and let him know...you understand he is "in love" but, under no circumstances will you let ANY ONE come into his life and ruin his future.  Tell him how much you love him...and tell him that you are concerned.  Keep an eye on him for serious issues that may come up...than let him make his mistakes.  You can't protect him from life's challenges and you can't keep him from making mistakes.  A girl is a huge tempation for a boy.

I have three boys.  My 18 year old...I have seen make some of the absolute worst friends (guys and girls).  I tell him how I feel...bring up points to support my concerns...than let him live the experience as long as it's not costing him his furture or his life.  My sons know me very well.  I'm only going to let things get out of control so much.  His friends know me and my husband well.  We will do what we need to do to protect what is ours, but we will also allow them to learn.  

Make sure you pound it in his head over and over again, the seriousness of protecting himself so he doesn't get her pregnant.  Remind him, he wants to go to college.  There is no rush to start a family, however...if he doesn't protect himself...he may get one sooner than he plans.  Try to keep him busy with school activities.  Write up some rules.  Give him a curfew, for when he goes out and for the phone.  Let him know what kind of punishment he will face should he not adhere to those rules and make sure you follow through should he slip up.  Trust me...he's a teenager...he will.  

Good luck and remember...you are not alone.

Answer 3

I wouldn't worry too much. Most likely the relationship will be over before he graduates. Although I would be concerned about the pregnancy issue. She sounds like a friend of mine from high school and she never actually got pregnant but faked them (and subsequent miscarriages) just to keep the guy around and in her control. It does happen.

You don't want to do too much because at 16 his feelings for her are overwhelming and blind so it may end up pulling you two further apart and pushing them closer (he'll feel like she's the only one who cares about him although I know that's not true). Just try spending time with him and having general talks with him that have NOTHING to do with his girlfriend. Although that may be hard as well considering how few 16 year olds want to hang out with their parents at all.

Good luck. Not an easy situation. Like I said.. most likely it'll blow over and she'll be out of the picture.