Help! my youngest daughter is 8 years old....

Question

She has a different Dad than my other 2 kids. Ever since I divorced her dad the other kids hate her, she has become really annoying to everyone. The doctor say's she has oppositional defiant disorder, her behavior is driving us all mad. She has no friends because she's so bossy no one wants to play with her. She thinks she knows everything and trys to act like an adult. I recently married again and my new husband can't stand her either. I'm thinking of just sending her to live with her Dad, but guilt is keeping me from doing that. Counseling has not helped us, I really don't know what to do.

Answer 1

Sounds like she needs an attitude adjustment.

Place child across knee, and a few well placed

smacks on the bottom have been known to

change a child's attitude.

Answer 2

Have you tried getting everyone together and talking about it???

And sending her to live with her dad should be her choice... Otherwise she would probably feel like you  don't love her.

Do you have a pet?

If not try getting her one it might help her if she doesn't have any friends.

Make sure you treat everybody the same and never call her half-sister etc..

Also don't allow anyone else (your other children) to call her half-sister etc.

Answer 3

i KNOW ITS HARD BUT ASK HER IF SHE WANTS TO LIVE WITH HER DAD.SHE  PROBABLY MISSES AND WANTS HER DAD

Answer 4

GEEEEEES! It sounds like your aren't a very maternal parent and that maybe you feel some regret towards her. You say waaaaay to freely that everyone hates her maybe you feel that way too. I know if a man hated my daughter I would tell him to get F*****

Answer 5

Just try to support her as much as you can and just try to teach her that its not nice to be bossy.

Just try to point her in the right way.

I hope I helped.

Answer 6

Hi! I think you should have a heart to heart talk with your daughter. I think you should ask her what she really wants that would make her happy. Is it to stay with her dad or to be with you?  Sometimes kids their age just needs attention. They want to be listened to when they have something to say. Are you sure you are listening to her or you just talk to her and complain about her behavior all the time?  

Answer 7

so let me get this straight... you think your daughter is annoying and has no friends, your new husband doesn't like her, and because she isn't fitting in with your new life plan, you want to send her away? she's your CHILD!!! with a mother like you, talking about how much everyone hates her and not mentioning one single good quality if I were her I would run in the other direction. do you realize how hard it is for kids to deal with divorce, a new father figure, new siblings? you are throwing so much at an 8 year old kid to deal with and now that she's reacting to it you want to just send her away? do the kid a favor and get her away from you. I would never abandon my child no matter what the circumstances, and certainly not because some new husband "can't stand her." I'm sure she senses your dislike for her, something no child should ever have to feel!

Answer 8

don't be like those terrible mothers that end up causing a terrible life for her kids.  if you send her to live with her father she'll think you hate her no matter what you tell her.  she'll also think that you love the other kids more and so far what you're thinking of doing might cause her to hate herself and end up suiciding continue counseling.  Does she visit her father often? at least send her to her father's every other or every weekend.  Try sending her everyother weekend for now but if that doesn't work send her everyweekend.  Also do something fun for her.  go to the park or aquarium or something do things that won't spoil her but that will distract her from her attitude.  but please don't ruin her life she is just a little girl.  i hope you and your family will all try to help.  god bless you

Answer 9

This child is living with two sibling who hate her, a stepfather who can't stand her either, and a mother who sure hasn't mentioned any good qualities in her.  It sounds to me like sending her to live with her father couldn't damage her much more than she has been already.  Since you have chosen to allow your other 2 kids to make it clear to her that she's hated and have married someone who can't stand her, why not just go ahead and  reject her altogether?  Her father might actually like her.  She might be really happy getting away from all that hatred and dislike and actually do well living in his home.

Answer 10

She needs you more now than ever. Tell the other kids and your new husband not to hate her. She probably feels that she doesn't have her dad with her now, she is also going to lose her mom. How does that feel to you?

You need to assure her that she is not going anywhere without you in her life.

Why send her to live with her dad? She will resent you more.  

Answer 11

let her go to her dads [place then she will relize how good it is at your house and then she will want to come back to you and she will be a nicer person

Answer 12

You should find a lot of time to find activities she may like. Just find time to spend with just her, without the other kids. You can also find a pen-pal for her. She might like it. Also, you should tell your other kids to be nice to her, because she is going through a rough time. If none of those help, I would ask her if she wanted to go to her dad's home every other week or so.  

Answer 13

Though you may get defensive when reading this, I think your daughter needs some boundaries so that she feels loved.  She has suffered the loss of her family, the loss of being the "special" one because she was the daughter of the man you were married to (not that she was extra special but she had an extra bond that the other kids didn't have), and she now has a new man to deal with.  Having dealt with a lot of family issues over the years, I believe she is acting out so that she gets attention in the form of reassurance that she still has a PLACE in your household that matters.  Sending her to her dad's to deal with her will only isolate her more and will cause long-term heartache and distrust in her.  Sit her down with your husband, tell her you all love her and you won't tolerate her behaviors.  Tell her she is important and has a right to all of the love and resources that the other family members have but, like the others, she has to earn her privileges and suffer the consequences of negative attitudes and actions.  Let her know that you know she's going through a tough time and you want to get through it together.  Give it some time, ask the others to be kind and patient, and I suspect you'll get through this fine in the end.