Help on essay intro ? 'memoirs of geisha'?

Question

For centuries Geishas have created a persona for which they base themselves as high-class artistic performers. In Japan, the geisha industry was once a big success, however, the population of these performers have diminished over the year. Our modern perspective of Geisha are those of white facial makeup and extravagant kimino with high wooden serving tea to the customers. In the novel ' memoirs of Geisha,' Arthur Golden explicitly goes into a greater depth of revealing the secret lives and dramas that goes on among Geishas behind public appearance. Through the main character, Sayori, we can vicariously experience along with her of her arduous journey on becoming a Geisha.

Answer 1

This may help.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Memoirs_of_...

What I also learned is the tying of the bow around their waist.  True Geishas where the bow on the back.  Those that wear them on the front are a form of prostitutes because the bows are easier to untie.  When Sayori visited her sister one evening, you'd notice her sister had her bow tied to the front.

The film depicts how those that fails to become Geishas may lead the life of such a prostitute or as a servant, as Sayori at a time became.

Answer 2

I like the introductory paragraph, but there are a few errors. The second sentence is 'run-off'. "In Japan, the geisha industry was once a big success; however, the population of these performers have diminished over the year." (Need a semi-colon before however, since it is an adverb in this sense). In your last sentence, I don't quite understand it, needs to be re-phrased.  

Answer 3

have made suggestions in the text. I hope they are helpful.

For centuries the Geisha' personae have exuded an aura of high-class artistic performance. In Japan, the geisha industry was once extremely popular and prolific. However, the Geisha population has diminished over time. Our modern perspective of the Geisha is one of stark white facial makeup, elaborate coiffures, extravagant kimonos, and a mannered tea ceremony that is an artistic interactional performance for serving clients in a gracefully obsequious fashion. In the novel ' Memoirs of Geisha,' Arthur Golden delves into the depths of explicit revelation regarding the secret lives and private dramas behind the public appearance that flourish among Geishas . Through the main character, Sayori, we can vicariously experience the arduous journey one undertakes to become a Geisha.