Help please, is this lost memory relevant?

Question

Funeral Service

Owl eyes peered from forest branches.

Beaver slapped their tails in icy warning.

The reality behind my meditation did not register.

I do not know what monsterous disaster

had befallen me to bring about oblivion.

I remember only beaver slaps and autumn chill

and owl eyes and the bridge

looming black against the sky.

A monument to evenings silence,

summers death,

my now forgotten requiem.

Answer 1

How well you are in tune to the seasons change, It sings of

the "September Song" you express my yearly melancholy

held so long, I can't remember when it started. Kudos.

Answer 2

Wow!  You buried an important summer with respect, was it your 16th?  Hope your new-found maturity brings you no cause for regret later in life and do keep on writing as you have the rare ability to shade words.

Answer 3

"Hi!",

Wow you put a lot of thought into the expression of your poem, providing vibrant image and a story to tell.

WELL DONE!

Cheers : )

Answer 4

Certainly,  an interesting progression.  The title threw me off although I sense your intent.  Summer leaves in a hurry, the requiem quickly forgotten.

Answer 5

Nice picture U try to re-paint here, but U R missing some tools such as rhyme (register , register) . Also U have redundancy ( repeating the same words for the same seen U have been taken w/. (beaver slapped ,beaver slaps , owl eyes).. I like the last 3 lines even though The "my" in last line is it 'by" or "my" .. doesn't matter any way.. try again..