Help please lol?

Question

ok for government class we were given to right a paragraph to this..."your opinion of the American Government"

and this was mines

Finally, Despite many of the bad Presidents. Our type of government over all has served, protected and most importantly kept us to what we are today “America“. The same America that stays till the end and bravely fights to what is best and believed; our liberty, our Justice and our prosperity. Yes we’ve had flaws that could have been prevented and done better but in the end without those flaws we wouldn’t appreciate triumph and Honor ship of the great country that both the people and government has proudly allowed us to call through battle and glory, Our country’ ,America.

so question is...what do you think of it?

thanks :)

Answer 1

Dear Jaymee:  These other people both said you have some writing issues and I agree, but I am going to help you write it better.  This is how I would word it, without changing your meaning:

Finally, America has a government that serves and protects its citizens, despite having leadership that has sometimes been bad over the years.  Bravery and fighting for the rights of freedom, justice and prosperity all remain at the core of this country's spirit.  There have certainly been flaws and mistakes that could have been prevented; we could have done better at times.  Without the flaws and occasional mistakes, we wouldn't appreciate the greatness of our country as much.  

That's the same paragraph, essentially, but I sort of changed your wording a little.  Hope it sounds like what you wanted to say.  Do you like it?  I just wanted to focus the thoughts a little better, but you had a great idea on what to say.  

Have a great day today.  I hope you will talk to me later today.

Rob R

Answer 2

Quite possibly the worst paragraph I have ever read.  Most of your sentences are not even sentences.  You grammar and capitalization is terrible.  In addition, the paragraph does not even make sense.  You need a tutor to help you with your writing.

Answer 3

What is government but a figment of your imagination Your worst fears have jumped up and bit you

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/gambit2031...

This might help clear up some ?'s you have on just what it is about history government and a few bad men who lied cheated and deceived good people into thinking they were person's citizens or immigrants. I think they probably did not teach you very much about anything really at school and life is 99% school without an opinionated teacher who spent the last of his teaching years pointing to a body of words and never even read them. Textbook teachers are dumb no imagination and like job security

The United States has fled and has left Homeland security in charge now. It has nothing to do with republican demon cratic or even right and wrong

When did the uNITED States Of America become a demo cracy anyway?

Seems to me it says in that stupid piece of paper bush hates so much that

1 it is a republic and cannot find the word"democracy" in it all

2 the government shall not rrestrict free speech not you have the right to free speech

that is just small things not taught in school maybe or maybe it is irrelevant but "america is a democracy" which is now sybiosis with communism and if you doubt this then look at the spread of demo cracy and american involvment and I think you will see why america was destroyed by design

want to wow people learn your rights and never under"stand" anything

to stand under something is dangerous and know that you are not a "person" like they teach you in school

Peace gambit

Answer 4

It's vague.

Your first "sentence" isn't a sentence.

You wrongly capitalize many words: despite, presidents, justice, honor, our.

It doesn't really say much.

Get rid of the quotation marks.

Your third "sentence" isn't a sentence. (And also doesn't make sense.)

What's the word 'ship' doing there?