Help please with this?

Question

I have been approached by one of my colleagues, who is a male and asked to go out with him. I am not interested in him and I have tried in all possible ways to show him that I am not interested for the last 2 months. Luckily we do not work in the same office, however, we work in the same department so I get to see him every day. When he asked me to meet him in a restaurant and I emailed back, explaining to him why I would not do it and gave him good reasons and also explained to him that he should find someone who likes him back, he reacted quite badly. I said that we can stay friends and colleagues but I am not looking for anything else. It's been actually really hard to deal with it as he is a collegue and I hate conflict at work place. Well, now he ignores me and doesn't talk to me and pretends he talks to everyone else. He also said that I completely misunderstood it and he was only looking for a friendship but would not talk to me. what should I do? I feel so bad about it. I was trying to be all careful and nice about it and now he makes it so hard for me to face my workplace? He is so arrogant it's amazing.

Answer 1

You have one life to live. Your not going to please everyone that you come into contact with. Forget him. Contiune doing a good job at work and don't let him get to you. If u let him see that you care he will keep doing everything to make u feel bad.

Answer 2

lol....what a jerk he is...just ignore him...you'll be ok....and get with me..ok..lol

Answer 3

LooL at this guy

he is appearantly so crazy about you and he cant stand being rejected so he is just ignoring you to make you feel bad about it and he also thinks that this will make you dig him and go after him like what you are doing now

you are talking about him and putting him in ur mind when you shouldnt

i think you just need to forget all about it and ignore him as well even consider that he doesnt exist if you have to

good luck and just focus about your work babay

Answer 4

You do not need to give reasons.  Just say no politely.

Answer 5

he's trying to make out you misread the situation, when in fact you read him like a book and he doesn't like being knocked back.  instead of being a man about it, he's behaving like a little kid.  

Answer 6

There is just this one advise: Maturity should be able to settle everything. Call him for launch one of this days and tell him face to face that you are not interested. there is no need emailing him, just tell him that you will like to have launch with him and tell him that you two are matured enough to know what you both want. Face him and tell him squarely your mind, don't start playing pranks. What is worth doing at all is worth doing well.

Answer 7

Maybe he has a difficult time expressing what he really wants, and maybe he also has a difficult time being rejected.  I wouldn't worry about him ignoring you- he is definately acting childish, but at least he isn't bothering you anymore.  If he starts spreading false information about you though, as some sort of revenge, I would definately talk to management/human resources to get him fired.  You have done nothing wrong by not wanting to get in a relationship with someone that you do not care for.

Answer 8

I would personally put in a complaint of harassment against him. Why should you havbe to put up with that in your workplace??? Its out of order!!!

Answer 9

It sounds like you have been good about it all to him..

either way he must realise that no means no! in any other environment i suspect he may just dissapear! but as you are at work you must be aware of your right to work in safety and peace!

Get in touch with your HR department if it gets too bad or contact your line manager and explain that this guy has been making things difficult for you..keep it simple and make sure you understand that at work harrasment isnt acceptable in this day and age!

You need to understnd the complaints proceedure..in most proceedures you would have by now handled it "informally" by asking him to stop...find out what the next stage is!

You have right to be treated with respect under employment law...if your unsure...ask for a written copy of everything to do with employment policy and proceedure at your work...learn the rules well!

Good luck!

Answer 10

Just ignore him, there will come a time when he wants to talk to you again, but it will be his own fault.  Just keep saying Good morning or hello as you pass him.  Don't let him see he has got to you.  There are plenty of other people to be friends with.

Answer 11

Your friendship relation is now changing but don't let it bother you too much its not your fault. Just do the right thing at work and time will tell.  Stay focus and be nice to ever one and don't allow yourself to be bitter or sad what ever is the right word.

Answer 12

This is why sometimes you have be very emphatic and direct,when `refusing` someone a date. Straightaway too, with no shadow of doubt.

Even this will not put some people off.

As I see it, you have two choices: either face him direct again and just state emphatically that you are not interested, and that you do not have to give reasons or feel guilty about turning him down.

Or ignore HIM too.  If you have to communicate workwise, ok, do this without attitude.  But otherwise ignore and keep as clear of him as you can.  If he still acts` funny` have a quiet word with your boss.  You could say he is not directly hassling or harassing you, just ignoring you and making it awkward in the workplace. And you thought your Boss ought to know.

Answer 13

just tell him your are not into him thats it

Answer 14

Ignore him and if he keeps bothering you tell someone about it sounds crazy