Help urgently!!?

Question

Hi, im looking for some advice, im 16 years old and going through a really hard time atm, MY boyfriend of a year split with me 9 weeks ago and im gutted and i cant find a way of getting over it, he lives right near me and he is finding it easy and im finding it so difficult i just cant do anything, 7 weeks ago i found out i was pregnant with him i told him and his family, his family said they had to respect whatever descion is made basically and he said, he will support me through an abortion, but if i keep it, he will not be there at all. I decided i was having an abortion and then a couple of weeks my descion changed and i wanted to keep it, his parents were angry and said i had led them on and changed my mind they where angry at me, and they didnt contact me for support. My ex met up with me a couple of times, said he would support me through it and sometimes was nice about it and was caring and then he would egnore texts or egnore me for weeks, i think he wants to support me and be there but has to much influence of his parents?. A week ago i found out that i had misscarried, I told my ex and he didnt reply to my messages, i dont know what to do im really scared i just want him back, i cant find a way of getting over him i want him to support me, Do i keep contacting him, Do i leave him? i dont know what to do, does it get easier?

Answer 1

if he was acting this way with you being pregnant why would you want him back anyways. part of it could be his parents trying to control his decison, but he should of stood up for you and made his own and supported you. i had a similar thing with my sons father. i tried so hard to keep him around. and it got to be such a burden, and love isnt soppose to be like that. and i have relized im doing well without him and the problems. you seem like you have a good head on your shoulders, being 16 and making a mature decision to keep your baby was very brave. you deserve someone who will love you like you love them. i would let him go no matter how hard it may seem it is, it will get easier.  try going out and meeting some new guys, as soon as you find someone else, you will look back and wonder why you even bothered with him. you will be okay,, good luck!

Answer 2

If I were you, despite the pain I would move on.  He sounds like a jerk who doesn't have the strength to stand up for what he believes he should do.  My congratulations on your decision to keep the baby.  Even though you unfortunately miscarried, this says a lot about your character.

As the old saying goes, "time heals all wounds".  this may not seem so now but trust me, it works.  As to how to get over the guy, immerse yourself in your schoolwork and other friends.

I hope all goes well.  Will be praying for you

Answer 3

Leave him alone.  Get yourself a good support network that does not include him.  After all he is not a person that you should want anything to do with if he will only support you in getting an abortion and not if you had the baby.  It should have been YOUR decision and he should have supported you either way.  It will get easier as time passes.  He needs to grow up !!!

Answer 4

Hi,

I know it is difficult dealing with all of this at 16, but I would suggest not contacting him and concentrating on yourself - look after yourself and get the help that you need with losing the baby, as it is not an easy thing to deal with at any age.  Things will get easier with time, and if you have looked after yourself rather than worrying about how to deal with your ex, you will find that things will be a lot more positive in the future.  You have lots of time to meet the right guy and have children, and hopefully, next time it will be a much more positive and joyful experience.

Answer 5

hey girl, youve been through a very bad time.

never easy being pregnant especially at 16, a bigger problem for you was deciding to keep the baby,then to lose it

cant get any worse

so you MUST now look to the future...think maybe move on, your ex dumped you and one can never turn back the clock, your age is on your side, try and find  a circle of friends they will help and would be better than getting into a relationship so soon.

Just one thing that worries me is that you havent mentioned your parents at all.

Hopefully you have learned to take precautions,no unprotected s*x

good luck

Answer 6

That guy sounds like an as$, he wont support you through a pregnancy when he got you pregnant. why would you love him?

he apparently doesn't love you, why don't you see that?

you'll get over him.

be safe with s*x from now  on and don't end up with another loser.

Answer 7

d**n that kinda sucks

well next time u see him just tell him how u feel

and then its all downhill from there

if u miscaried then why do u still need his support

i guess i wouldnt understand that becuase i am not in ur situation but i really think u need to like go to his house and talk to him and maby even his parents becuase really they shouldnt put u in that kinda position and plus they said they would respect whatever dasision is made and then they get all mad at u for changing ur mind. they pretty much changed there minds on it idk if that makes sence basicly there hipocritical. and plus im sure ur ex is just as scared as u r and his way of showing it is by ignoring u. i think just tell him u feel like hes not keeping i contact with u and u want him to support u

Answer 8

darling.

it gets worse before it gets better, unfortunately.

First of all i'll advice you to go see a doctor and have a full gynecological check-up, if you miscarried a week ago. Do not risk your health and reproductive abilities any further.

Secondly, wanting to continue to have anything to do with this guy and his family after they've treated you so shabbily is as good as signing up for a slow torturous death.-emotionally, spiritually and even physically.

My advice to you is this: Revenge!

the ONLY way you can revenge is to make yourself a great success: Concentrate on your studies, get great grades, join clubs and associations that will keep you positively busy, find a mentor-someone you can confide in,  pick a hobby and build on it.

and when the time is right you will meet a man who will fall in love with you and treat you like a princess that you are.

and your ex will realize what a sod he is!

check out these sites:

http://www.desiretoinspire.org/about/abo...

http://www.thelinkmn.org/Project_Potenti...

http://www.sadd.org/teenstoday/mentors.h...

http://www.sixwise.com/newsletters/07/01...

I wish you the very best!

Answer 9

hmmm...

Answer 10

That is really a sad story....but, look at the bright side, no baby to worry about....If I were you, I would dump him because he is a sorry *** for being an *** and I would kick his *** for you....

Answer 11

Hun, you are better off without him.

One day he will come to realise what he lost, but by that time you will have found someone a h**l of a lot better and will be blissfully happy.

Good luck with the future

Answer 12

Bless your heart.  Sixteen is such a difficult age and what you have been through as well makes it doubly hard.

I know it is hard to hear this and you make think that everyone giving answers is wrong, but believe me we are older and we know.  A lot of us have been in similar situations.

At 16 you feel as though your heart is broken and you will never recover. You will have your heart broken more than once before you meet the right man.

Do not contact him in anyway.  If he asks you out again do not go because you are opening yourself up for more hurt.  Move on with your life.  The pain does go away and you will get over it, even though right now you think you won't.  It does get easier, it just takes time.  If you go back to him you will be prolonging the hurt.

Speak to your social services they may know of a support group that you can go to.  Sometimes the hospitals have support groups.

Just remember we have all been hurt and we are all still here to tell the story.

I wish you good luck and happiness for your future.

Answer 13

Do you leave him? He already left you. DO NOT keep contacting him. You are trying to hang on to him and there is nothing left of the relationship. He made it clear that its over. It will get easier, but you have to move on. Go out with your friends, have fun, get your mind off of him. Dont be afraid to meet someone new. You are young and have a whole life ahead of you, hearts to break and more heart break for you. Keep your head up and get over him. If he doesnt want to be with you anymore, there isnt anything you can do. The best revenge is to move on and prove how good you are without him.

Good luck!

Answer 14

If he wouldn't support you if you had the baby, he doesn't care about you. If the only reason he came back at all was because you were pregnant, he doesn't care about you.

If he doesn't return your messages, he probably doesn't care.

And remember he'd already left you when he found out you were pregnant. A feeling of moral obligation is not the same thing as love.

I know it seems unbearable now, but you will eventually get over him. It just takes time. You are young, you still have lots of time to meet the one who is right for you and will treat you with the respect and caring that you deserve.

I met my first love at your age and was sure he would be the one I'd marry. My parents did everything they could to break us up, and eventually he left me for my best friend. I was as heartbroken as you, but I had lots of other boyfriends later.

Years later I returned to my hometown and ran into him, and was ever so grateful that things had turned out the way they did. Then I couldn't even fathom what I'd seen in him in my youth.

Don't waste any more time on him. Eventually you will get over it.

Answer 15

"Do i leave him?" Honey, you are 16 years old. I feel bad that you miscarried but think about it. If he cared enough about you he wouldnt have left and he would be staying in touch. It will get easier, believe me. Stop contacting him, by continuously contacting him you are keeping your wounds fresh. stay away from him. dont mope around. get out and do something and your emotional wounds will heal. being together with him for that long at your age is bound to do some damage, especially with the miscarriage or the fact you were having s*x period, plus being 16 he was probably your first, which makes it extra hard to let go. you are 16 years old okay. i can guarantee you will find someone else soon enough. best of luck.

Answer 16

Take a deep breath!  It is statistically true that at your age once you get pregnant the guy does not stick around whether you are still together or not.  You are worried about everyone else and not you and your baby.  Think about what YOU want.  If you can't take care of the baby there are so many people out their who would love to have it.  You really need to seek counseling.  Just don't make any rash decisions without thinking about you how will feel later!!

Answer 17

Love is tricky, we don't get to pick who we fall in love with and when that person isn't the one for us it is hard to fall out of love on purpose.  My suggestion is to keep busy maybe join a sport or club. The best way to get over a person is to find something you enjoy and emerge yourself in it.  As hard as it is don't conact him, it will ge easier it just may take awhile.  He doesn't want to be there for you, if you keep contacting him you are just prolonging your sadness and it will be harder to get over him.

As for the baby, I'm sorry you lost it.  I am sure you have mixed feelings about it.  I was devistated when I lost mine, I was just married and got pregnant on our honeymoon.  But at the same time I knew I wasn't ready to be a Mom.  It sounds like your boyfriend wouldn't have been much of a father and supported you or your baby.  Which, would have caused a lot of pain to you and your baby.