Help us re-word the add to make it sound snappy...?

Question

All of the businesses on 17th Street in the Dupont Circle neighborhood in Washington DC are putting an add in the paper for some joint advertising to promote 17th Street.

Can you make it sound better:

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17th Street,"Duponts Best Kept Secret"

Where else can you find..."gourmet shops, world-class dining, banking, beauty and spa facilities, exciting nightlife and quaint romance in the heart of Dupont Circle..."

"17th Street! Dupont Circle's Best Kept Secret!" Whether it is finding a personal Trainer, going to Yoga classes, enjoying some of the citys g*y Nightlife or celebrating your birthday with a group of friends on some of our great outdoor patio restaurants. 17th Street has something for everyone. Enjoy a one way street with the vibrance that can only be found on 17th Street. Want more? We have a new Yogurt shop, a safeway, CVS, hardware store, Liquor store and a frame shop. Come and see what all of duponts citizens have been enjoying for years. 2 blocks from the Metro.

Answer 1

I would scrap it all and start over. Two biggest peeves with the copy, below:

1. "Where else can you find a, b, and c?" That's a dare. The first thing I think is, "Well, where else *can* I find a, b, and c?" In DC, the answer is "Lots of places."

2. "Something for everyone." Unless you're the world's biggest mall, this is the absolute worst thing you can put in an ad. No one wants to go where there is something for everyone, and besides, it's not even true. Pick a demographic and commit.

Once you've chosen your demo, start over and speak directly to them and no one else. Yes, you will alienate a handful of potential customers, but get far better response from a smaller set of better customers. Good luck!