Help! what will you do????

Question

I'm 26 F with a 8yr old daugther i just got divorce of my hubby of 7years he was my first b/friend..lover..parthner..etc... we had problems in our last 2 yars of marriage..on and off i met someone else (while broken up) and it was a normal relationship that laster weeks... i tried to make it work wity hubby...but i couldnt i wanted to party go w firneds work for my dauther and me only.. i wnted freedom... i met anothr guy which i felt in love we dated for 6 months until he had to leave to mexico he has a son (but not together with the bbys momma) well long story short.. i am now divorce my ex husband was never abusive or mean he was and is in fact a great man and a awesom father but i don tlove him..i dont feel the atraction to kiss or have a relationship other than firneds but he is still figthing to get his famaly back (me and baby) my boyfriend is nice and we get along well he gets along with my dagther too... we have great chemestry BUT we have lots of problems when the babys mother call at any time of the day (oh she movd to california now) that the baby i ssick and needs to go to hospital sh dont drive so is always him him and him...

Eeryone tells me i am making abad choice of leaving my husband for this guy...

what do i do..i dont want to meet other people.. ( i dotn want my daugther to meet different parthners ) she only met my current boyfriend...

what is fair?

have a peaceful famaly... with no love

or be with my love..and have arguments all the time???

Answer 1

I don't believe is such a thing of falling it or out of love. It's a choice to love someone. The reason you might feel that you don't love him anymore might be because you haven't forgiven him. I believe that there is hope for most marriages. Cheating is one of the worst things someone can do to another person. This kind of trespass will take someone years to heal. Your ex-hubby sounds like a really good guy. You guys have lots of history together and the other guys just sounds like lots of work. If I were you and he didn't cheat on then I would try to work things out. Take canceling and try to re-candle that love. Forgive him for everything and start new. and when you forgive this means that nether of you will talk about it again. Good luck and here is a book that helped my marriage tremendously.  

Answer 2

Let your conscience be your guide

Only you can decide what to do

I think you already have

Its like the song Desperado

You always want the one you can't have

Answer 3

Oh this is easy. You have "the grass is always greener on the other side" syndrome. You'll never be happy because nothing will be good enough.

Tough break. Maybe one day soon you will realize that you chose things for a reason. Or maybe you'll never realize.

Take it from the band Modest Mouse, "Grass looks much greener but it's green-painted cement." It hurts when you land on it.

Answer 4

You are the perfect example of why people say don't get married when you are 18 or 20 or 22, you are too young and you will be sorry if you do.

From the time we are born we go through stages to grow and become adults. If we try to skip one of those stages, then years down the road, we will feel cheated and try to recapture those lost years.

You didn't even finish your teen years and you were already a mother and a wife. You lost some really important years of your youth and growing up.

Now you feel trapped and cheated and you want to go back and live those years. You want to party and have a good time. But you aren't free and 17 anymore, you are a mother and it's your job to be an adult now and put your child's needs before your own. Do you want your child to see all the mistakes her mother is making and to end up at 17 pregnant too and make the same mistakes you have made and continue to make?

I'm not saying that you should be with a man you don't love, but for pete sakes stop dragging your child through all the mess you are making out of your own life. You seriously need to see a counsellor and get your life straightened out, if not for your own sake, then at least for your child's sake.

I don't mean to be insulting, but your spelling really shows your lack of education. With an 8 year old child you are her role model and you have to show her that a good education is very important. Go back to school and work toward getting a good paying job. Be a good role model and encourage your child to be strong and stand on her own two feet and not depend on a man to take care of her.

Answer 5

I think you need time alone with no partners to get yourself situated and for you to understand what you want. I admire you for thinking of your daughter and not wanting to introduce her to different males. That's good. Just try to focus on yourself and your daughter first.