Help with 7 yr.old daughter!?

Question

SORRY ABOUT THE LENGTH OF THIS:

I don't know what to do. My daughter is 7 and just WILL NOT obey. I have tried everything I know of; spanking, time-out, extra positive attention, taking away things she likes, rewarding good behavior, etc. You name it, I've done it. She just won't listen to me. Everyday she ruins something of mine. She's not mean and hateful- she's really sweet, and I don't think she does it intentionally, but she's lost countless shoes of mine, ruined clothes of mine and her's, ruined furniture, ruined DVD's, CD's, broken countless other items. She's super smart; top of her 1st grade class in nearly everything. But always loses marks because she won't listen to the teacher, etc.

I hate the ADD lable, so don't even go there. That's an easy cop-out. She can pay attention when she wants to. She just won't. Any advice?

Answer 1

It almost sounds to me like a couple of things. First of all it seems like she has no respect for other peoples belongings not even her own. Is she overly indulged? If she can't take care of her belongings then take them away. If she ruins something of yours take something of hers. My 6 year old twin daughters were not taking care of thier room or their toys because they simply did not apreciate what they had because they have so much so I stripped them down to their bed, their clothes, and that was it. They had to earn back their toys by good behavior and proving they could take care of things. It so far has worked out really well. As far as getting in trouble at school I don't have personal experience here but to me if it was something as important as school and could be comprimising her education I would seek professional help without a doubt. There are good therapists who are not so sudden to label children as ADD you just have to do some research first. Good Luck!

Answer 2

weeelll....just out of curiosity..why does she have your shoes, and clothes? and she shouldn't be allowed to touch the dvds or cds. as for the furniture..what is she ruining it with? we have a rule in our house..food and drink is only in the kitchen, and crayons, paints, markers, pens, etc are only allowed at the kitchen table. but don't feel bad..this is all 7 year olds, believe me! our daughter until about 5 was perfect, completely perfect...now everday is battle from what she is going to eat (she has never been given the choice really, but for some reason still continues to think that she can argue about what I'm making for dinner) to what she is going to wear, to if we are going to the store, etc etc etc. I thought she was turning into the worst child I had ever seen, and truthfully, I was worried, I thought oh gosh..where did I go wrong? what are we going to do...that was until I went to her school to have lunch with her and sat with all the other 1st graders. and I happily realized that the 4 year old I thought had moved out to be replaced by demon child (jk) was in fact still there...she just knew how to talk alot more :). trust me..if you need to feel better about you and your child and the relationship you have with her...visit her at lunch with her classmates and the whole 1st grade..I promise you will be hugging and kissing her and believing that she is the best child in the world.

Answer 3

my daughter tried this whole thing when she was 8. She went through this phase where she had a huge attitude. And I took the challenge and she ended up with almost all of her Christmas toys at the thrift store or in the garbage. She ended up spending 3 days in her room where she had 30 seconds to go to the washroom and 10 minutes in the washroom to get ready for bed. She had to knock to ask me to bring her food and knock to ask to go to the bathroom. Her bedroom door was closed and she also had to write an essay on how to be non violent when angry. Violence is NOT acceptable in my house. Since than... not a problem... she catches herself before it gets that far now.

Answer 4

You say you've taken away things she likes,but she has no idea how privileged she is. My friend had the same problem with her little boy. She wouldn't let him have any junk food and she made him sleep on only a mattress and told him that only good boys eat  big boy food and get big boy beds. It may have been a bit mean but it worked.

Answer 5

Super Nanny or Nanny 911.

Answer 6

for some reason i d think she thinks that you are serious with her, because if you say that you've tried everything then by now something should've worked, so somewhere down the line she is not taking you for serious, and that's a major concern and will affect you later if not now, u need to let her know how serious you are with what you are telling her, if you are disciplining her you need to do it sternly and do not apologize(if you do) in the end let her know that you are serious, let her look u straight in the eye so u have eye contact and talk to her firmly and strongly (do not shout) but be firm, and let her know that she needs to start listening to you when u tell her to not to do something .try it and tell me if it worked Good luck!

Answer 7

ADD is not a lable, but yet a medical problem. I have ADD and I hate it when people just say "Oh, [put name here] has ADD" even when they don't, so please take me seriously.

I think she might have ADD. With ADD, the child or adult can pay attention to things she wants to, but she can't pay attention to everything.

But don't get me wrong, i'm not a doctor, so i'm not saying thats what your child has.

Another possiblity could easyly be just a phase she is going  through. I would ask the school counciler because they have taken courses on this sort of thing in college.

Hope I helped =]

Good Luck!

Answer 8

First to that little kiley girl, well I can't wait for her to have children.  karmha is a b*tch.

On to your problem....I suggest finding things to keep her busy.  You must engage her almost constantly which can be a little tiring but I have a daughter that has had similar issues.  I left notes for her reminding her to not get into my makeup and stay out of the medicine cabinet.  I bought her a few different sets of toys like legos and knex coasters and I also got her some polly pocket sets, these things seem to keep her entertained and out of trouble.  No matter what it takes alot of patience on your part. good luck.

Answer 9

thats probly how she copes with emotions. she doesnt know how to get her emotions out in words n gets frustrated n takes it out on you. my daughter did this for awhile-(she doesnt around dad) so after school i picked her up with snack ready n parked somewhere n talked about her day n other ppl till she was done with snack or done talking-tell her about ur day n ppl u were mad/happy at. (she''ll get that) ''sally made me mad today cause ----,did anyone make u mad?'' etccc. when we got home she had to get energy out! bike-walk-jump rope etc. she helped set table-ate at 5;30 bath at 6-book at 6;45 bed at 7 7;30. her day was done. her mind & body was going at all times so she didnt have time to turn good into bad. the car time is important to her.--good luck

Answer 10

Be the parent. Tell her not to do it, sit her down, and be a parent.