Help with Baby Moma Mess!!!?

Question

I’m 46 with a 25 y.o. Son. His mother and I haven’t been together in many years, but have had a life long friendship. She has two other children 19 and 5 .The 19 y.o is a mess, with no real goals or job and is in a very bad relationship with his live in gf and they both live with his mother. The 5 y.o. is still in diapers and has zero social skills. My son’s mother lives with and has relations with 3 guys. They are 36, 32 and 18. The two older ones are brothers. How do I help my son deal with this? I know that this sounds as though it’s made up, but it’s completely true.

Answer 1

You need to call Family Services on your ex-wife and get your son in therapy!!

Answer 2

Your son is a grown man.

He needs to decide how he would like to

deal with his mother's issues.

If he has no desire to confront her, but

still wants to have the issues addressed,

he could go to a maternal family member

and ask for assistance.

If he wants to confront her, then he needs

to handle it in a mature manner.

He needs to do so with your advice, but

without you being directly involved.

I understand that you are concerned about

your son, but you are no longer in a position

to intercede.

Once he turned 18...you were out of the equation legally. Morally, you will aways

be involved, but "with him" and not with

the mom.

He needs to tell her or have a maternal family

member tell her:

1. How the 19 yr olds gf needs to get out

2. How the 19 yr old needs to start contributing

or leave with the gf

3. How the five year old needs to be potty trained

and put into school

4. How her relationships effect the family

All you can do is be there for your son.

You can help him be independent of his mother.

Hopefully, he does not live at home with her or you have a lot of work to do with him from your end.

Best wishes

Answer 3

Wow...that sounds like a topic on a talk show.

He's old enough to sort of deal with this madness. Let him stay with you if he can't deal.

Answer 4

The mom needs help and family counseling I sugest you consider the wellfare of the 5 yr old if he is not ill then mom needs help and what else does she neglect you may have to callin family services to get her parenting classses is she doing drugs? omg get in the middle and get all help

Answer 5

he's 25, what has he got to deal with??? it isn't really any of his business what his mother gets upto... though someone needs to give her a kick... she is a lousy mother if the youngest is in a bad state..

Answer 6

Your son is 25 yrs old…I’m 25 yrs old. I’m also married with my own family. And I’m an adult so really I’d have to say that your son is also and you don’t need to “protect” him any longer. If you think he’s truly messed up in the head from this because well, yes, it’s a pretty screwy situation, then suggest maybe he go and talk to someone about it. Because sadly, that’s his mother regardless, those are his siblings regardless, and I think he’s going to have to learn how to cope with it all or he’ll have to just completely stay away altogether. Nobody should subject themselves to something that clearly causes them issues, especially if they’re an adult and can make their own choices.

If he seems to want some help, then help him find it. Otherwise, I’d just let the ex wife live her crazy life as she pleases. And if anyone has a problem with what she’s doing with her children, they should call CPS. It sounds like a case of child neglect if you ask me.

Best of luck!