Help with Japanese haiku?

Question

hiya,

I've never written a haiku before. Could you please comment on whether it makes sense and/or how I can improve it.

ようかぜやあかいはをちるはだかのき

youkaze ya akai ha wo chiru hadaka no ki

It's meant to mean:

a breeze

red leaves fall

a bare tree

I appreciate any comments!

Answer 1

it doesn't need to rhyme

and the symbols need to be

5

7

5

heres my haiku

Jack lays in the grass

Staring out at the red sky

As his mind wonders

Answer 2

ようかぜや

あかいはをちる

はだかのき

ようかぜ　does not mean breeze そよかぜ　does mean a light breeze and it fits with your syllables

あかいはをちる

kind of gives the image that the wind makes the leaf fall e.g. the red leaf was fell...but if thats the image ya want then cool.

はだかのき

i think to use hadaka correctly you would say きがはだか　and omit です　to keep the correct syllables