Help with a bipolar mother

Question

My mother is (and i know this as a fact) bipolar. She constantly switches instantly between screaming and slamming doors to offering gifts and giving hugs. This is driving me nuts... I don't know if she takes her medication for it, but if she does, it's too weak. Does anyone know how i can help her ease up on her moods swings?

Answer 1

If she really is bipolar, there is no amount of talking that you are going to do that is going to balance her moods.  She needs to be under the supervision of a board-certified psychiatrist who can select the right drugs and dosages for her.  This may take a while as it is a trial & error process.  Bipolar is a chemical imbalance in the brain and it is not her fault nor yours.  Try to get her to see a psychiatrist.  

Answer 2

If she's bipolar, YOU can't really do anything yourself to help her, unfortunately.  Just realizing her problem and the fact that this problem is causing her to get cross with you and that it is nothing that you really did to make her get in this bad mood is helpful in itself.  

Does she know that you know she has this and, if so, does she know that you know that she takes meds for this?  It is imperative that she take her meds.  Maybe if it is OK that you know all this, when she is in her "high" mood, you can ask her about her medication and maybe have a discussion with her about her mood changes that are erratic and worrisome to you.  I know people with this disorder so I know how you feel.

Are there other people in your family or is it just you and your Mom?  I was thinking that if there are others, maybe you can also talk to them about it.  If your Dad lives with you, he can discuss it with your Mom and maybe even speak to her doctor to tell him/her that her meds. don't seem to be working --- of course, you first have to find out if she IS taking them as she's supposed to.  It's not unusual for bipolar people to stop taking their meds when they are not feeling down because during those "up" times, they feel like they don't need it.

So sorry for what you and she are going through.

Answer 3

When she's calm, tell her that her swings are out of control and it's making your life miserable.  Ask her to go work with her doctor to get her medication worked out.  Also, talk to your dad/sibling/other family to help out.  I have bipolar and my guess is as is yours, she's either not taking medication or it's not working right.  In either case, she's probably not aware of how it's affecting you.  Whether or not she'll listen is hard to say, but you won't know unless you try.  Just remember, timing is everything.

Answer 4

My psychology teacher in high school states that people with bipolar disorder dramatically switches between moods.  One minute, they switch between extremities of emotions which includes depression, then one minute they switch to nice/ happy mode.  Its hard to live with, as I have an aunt who controls her emotions by taking five medications, which i recommend your mother taking.  I also recommend comforting your mother during hard times and showing her flowers, or reading to her or talking to her.  I would also take her outside and enjoy natures beauty.

Answer 5

i know how you feel. just talk to her about it maybe

Answer 6

I also am a bipolar mother, and I sympathize with you, but also with your mother. However, it sounds like she isn't taking her meds; or she needs a different or better mood stabilizer.

As far as helping her, you can't help someone that doesn't want your help. But I do suggest you get yourself into some support groups, there are many now for the family members of bipolars. Yes she will drive you "nuts" until she gets some help. My other suggestion, is for her to get into counseling, and I'm sure that isn't consistent either. We bipolars can be stubborn people when someone is trying to help us, it is a form of denial of the problem. Even though she may be voicing that she knows she is bipolar, but refuses to take her medication, then she is in denial "again." Sadly to say, that comes and goes with us bipolars. We want to feel we are okay, and sometimes the mania makes us feel we are on the top of the world and love every one, but if it goes on too long, then we become very irritable and this is when we will "argue" with anyone over NOTHING!