Help with daughter?

Question

Hello,

Im 36 and my daughter if 12. She has alway been a girly who has not really been noticed in school, She never used to get told off and used to do well in her school work. Hannah Does still but has Got her first boyfriend, He is the same age as her but she is about 3 months older. There always pasiontly Kissing eachover. Sometimes she asks me if he is allowed in and I say yes, But wont let them up to her room on thier own do you think thats fair ? When im at work on fridays for 4 hours after she finishes school, Im prettey sure the come in to the house. I have confroted Her and told her they need to be safe. My sister says there is no stopping them so do you think it would be okay to give her comdoms to take around in her handbag with her ? I dont want my 12 year old daughter to have a baby just yet. Or do you think i should just let them be ?

Thanks for the help if you awnser

Love Kara x

Answer 1

i dont think theyre doing anything but kissing.

Answer 2

if u give her a condom..u r basically say "heres a condom have some s*x"

but...u no i dont think it will be much of a problem...there only 12 ..be worries when shes 13 ^

if u trust her a lot..then dont worrie...just be AWARE...

and..do u trust him?...just think about it

i think 12 yr old kissing is cute..but as long as their not doin anything more

Answer 3

If  you trust your daughter and her boyfriend you should be willing to let them hang out in her room or whatever. Afterall, shouldn't they get the same privacy? I doubt that your twelve year old daughter is even thinking about s*x. Maybe just give her the talk. If your worried I guess you could also get her on birth control if she thinks their relationship is serious enough?

Answer 4

I think that you should trust your daughter and let him go up to her room.  But you still might want to be safe and give her some condoms.  I'm 13 and I am not ready to have a baby for a long time, so I'm sure she isn't either.  But like your sister said, "there is no stopping them," and even better, get your daughter on the pill as well as give her condoms to be extra safe.

Answer 5

Dear Kara, I am a single parent of 2 daughters  17  and  20. neither of them was allowed to"Date" by themselves, until they were 16, they could go on a date...like to the movies, BUT with an adult supervisor.  12 is WAY too young for allowing a boy and girl (These days) to be left alone together.  Just remember what happened when you were left alone with a boy, the feelings you had when he kissed you, and especially when he says "I Love you".  She is no different. This is NOT a matter of trust in HER...its our animal nature to fall for mens Bull****!!  You do need to have the talk with her, and if you slightly believe anything is happening...get her some condoms!!  Because you and she never will know when the time will arise, so its better to be safe than sorry, these days its not only the pregnancy thing...but the AIDS and your child dieing!!  that's what is the worse thing.  My 17 1/2 yr old is still a virgin, and my other stayed a virgin until 18 yrs.old.  Good luck, I'm sure you did a great job as her Mother, and she'll make the right decisions. Talk to her, and be blunt.

Marcie

Answer 6

I am 36 and have a 12 year old daughter and she is NOT allowed to have a one-one-one date until age 16 or grade 10. It is simply not necessary before then. And they would not be kissing passionately in front of me. It is not respectful. I guess I raised my daughter with manners or something.

Do NOT give her condoms or the message that having s*x at 12 is okay AT ALL. If she was 16 it might be different but at 12 there are too many emotional consequences even if she does not get pregnant. It is immoral for 12 year olds to have s*x. They have absolutely no frame of reference to make such an adult decision.

Your task as mom is to protect her -- not to condone her harmful behavior. You are her parent. Not her friend.

Your sister is wrong.  Period.

You can still go back Kara. Stand up and be the parent. Tell them they can see each other in a group date for a school event or going to the movies or playing games at a friend`s house but they CANNOT be together without supervision or being in the presence -- the same room -- as some friends.

Can your sister pick up your daughter from school? Or can she be assigned to go to a friend`s house? If you really think they will have s*x you really should find someone to supervise her after school.

If you do not want your 12 year old to have a baby then you be a mom and prevent it.

Answer 7

well i see what your coming from but she's 12, first i would ask her if she is having s*x and tell her that you want her to be honest and tell her that if she says yes it would be okay because your going to give her condoms but shes 12 and most 12 year olds aren't having s*x. but some do so i would just confront her about it

Answer 8

Wow what a tough situation. I think that it would be a good time to sit down with her and have a serious birds and bees type discussion, where she can ask questions and you give her honest open answers.

You should definitely consider putting her on birth control, just in case, and counsel her on the use of condoms not only to prevent pregnancy but STD's as well. Encourage her to be responsible about s*x.



Good Luck!

Answer 9

Get your head out of your butt before you become agrandmother there g/f.

YOU CAN STOP THEM your sister is an idiot and YOU can tell HER, I said so!

You tell his parents he is NOT allowed over UNLESS you are there and THEY need to speak to YOU first.

She is NOT to be alone with im PERIOD,  and IF you give her condoms that is the SAME EXACT thing as saying"it is ok for you to have s*x!".They may forget or not want to use them and if she gets pregnant then what?Thats not going to exactly make YOU look like mother of the year but more like trailer park trash and it won't help her repuation either.You should NOT be letting them make out either.You can give her atractor trailer load of condoms it doesn't mean they will use them or one of them won't fail and they DO have a failure rate.

Answer 10

I would give her condoms just to be safe.

you really would not want her having a baby yet.

Answer 11

i don't even think 12 would be the right age to even have a boyfriend. i also don't think a 12 year old should be knowing about s*x or anything, much less the boy either. condoms wouldn't be the best idea.