Help with eating problem + shyness/depression-y thing??

Question

I have an eating problem. I eat even when I'm not hungry especially foods like chocolate and biscuits. I can't seem to stop myself even though I can see myself putting on weight. Sometimes it's just when I'm feeling bad but even when I'm not I still do it. I don't know what to do because I feel like I can't stop it on my own.

Also I just feel generally weird like I don't talk to people in social situations much and I don't know if it's laziness or what I just find myself thinking to myself and listening to what other people are saying. It's like I just don't even know what I'm doing anymore-I'm so out of practise and I don't feel like I even know myself or like myself or something. I know I'm not making much sense I just wish I could stop being so weird and feeling so weird all the time. If someone knows what is going on could they tell me and give me some really specific advice for what to do?

I really don't want to talk to anyone - I want to sort my life out on my own. Plus this is kind of off subject but I also think I feel tired a lot like which is why I don't make conversation and I seem to spend a lot of the time sort of not really taking in what's happening-just daydreaming.

Answer 1

I'm no expert in psychology, but it does sound like you are suffering from depression. I know you said you didn't want to talk to anyone, and that is understandable, as sometimes it is embarrassing (or downright impossible) to express something so personal. However, psychotherapists are trained experts who are used to dealing with people who are reluctant to talk and they may well have the best advice for dealing with your feelings.

If you really can't face it, try writing down the things that make you happy. Sometimes writing is the best way of getting your thoughts in order and resolving them.

Food is obviously something you turn to for comfort (alas, how many of us do!) The nice sugary taste is giving you the momentary high that you are missing in your everyday life. But, as you correctly identify, putting on weight will make you feel lower in the long run. Try to remember this when you reach for another biscuit and try to find a substitute, be it a low fat snack or something different entirely.

I hope you feel better soon, depression is awful,but there is nothing taboo about it, we all suffer from time to time and talking really is the best solution. x

Answer 2

sometimes people eat when they have had a bad day. or feeling that food will help you feel better. i use to do that quiet often. and i understand what your going through. But maybe you should make an appointment to see a doctor. am also shy my self. going outside and talking to people helped me become more confident. As i still try my best. just be who you are. and try to relax. go out more. And don't try to worry too much. its normal to feel like that. By starting college soon you will be fine. you will make good friends. just enjoy yourself. and have fun. and good luck XX

Answer 3

its anxiety you are suffering and you are comfort eating as a result of stress, try and learn to relax  

Answer 4

to me it sounds a lot like compulsive over eating. I know you said you want to sort your life out on your own, but if you do have the beginning of an eating disorder, that might not be the most practical option.

The only thing I can think of is to try to get yourself out of the house when you start to feel the urge to eat. go for a walk or something. Also, try to make only healthy options available..especially banana's which help to regulate your hormones and can aid in ridding people of non-serious depression.  

Answer 5

I know you don't want to talk to anyone but that would be the most effective way of sorting things out.  The advice you will get here will only be a starter and won't give you ongoing support.  It will only be vague as we only have a small amount of information to go on.

There is probably a combination of eating to feel good, a habit and also a need for sugar.  The sugar could be what is causing the tiredness.

Which would you prefer?  To struggle on using your existing strategies and some limited advice or to be able to take back control of your life thanks to the assistance of an expert who can give you the right advice for you?  You will be doing it on your own, just with some hekpful support and that's important because it takes some of the difficulty away.

Answer 6

Emily - I read and re-read your question - looking desperately for a clue as to what it is that is causing you to feel so low about yourself.

The clue lies in what you *do not* write about. I'll hazard a few guesses here - which if I'm wrong, may still inspire you to think about a few other things.

You're still pretty young, probably living at home, but you don't mention your family. I very much doubt that they are in any way causing you a problem - as otherwise you'd have probably mentioned it, but, why not confide in a close family member on how you're feeling?. Chances are that they - and others - have noticed that you're not as bubbly as you used to be. You don't need to 'open up everything', but just have a general chat about 'things'.

Then, too, as you do not mention that anybody has said anything about your behaviour, it's quite possible that you're not as bad as you think you are. By that, I mean that you could have developed some dysfunctional beliefs about yourself. You say that you're 'weird'. From the way you write, I very much do not see any weirdness about you.

Nevertheless, dysfunctional beliefs can lead to low self esteem - which is quite central to you at the moment, and is causing you to clam up in social situations. Actually, people are not as judgemental about how you're behaving as you think. They probably think you're really interesting as you spend so much time listening to them!!

What you could do is apply a bit of Cognitive Behaviour Therapy to yourself. The next time you feel that you are 'weird', ask yourself what evidence you have to support the belief that you're 'weird'. I mean - it's not as if you're doing anything weird. It is a feeling you have allowed to develop.

What tends to happen is that when a bad feeling comes up, you deal with it by smothering it - in your case - by having something to eat. Which works for about 10 minutes. Then it starts again. The last time you felt like that, you had something to eat - and it went away. So you do the same thing. And so it goes on.

Instead of having something to eat - try saying to yourself 'Ok - that's the way I feel at this moment - I'll live with it and let it pass'. Which it will in a few minutes. The more you practice accepting these negative thoughts and dismissing them with the power of your mind - rather than chocolates and/or biscuits - the more you regain control of your feelings.

As for 'isolating' yourself' - this too is a behaviour you've adopted as a way of not getting yourself involved with feelings. In social situations, depending on who is present, we gear ourselves up to deal with things that our said to us - and what we are going to say. Quite often, conversations involve feelings - be it humour, sadness, judgement, happiness, anger, love/warmth etc. You're rather reluctant at the moment to deal with your feelings - hence you don't allow yourself to get involved in conversations. So, why not allow yourself to do it in easy circumstances first of all. A good tool is whilst watching TV with another person present. You can comment on what is going on in (say) a soap or laugh if it's comedy. Most often, you don't need to get involved in a deep conversation, but, you'll be able to express your feelings without having to analyse them. You can take this a bit further when you're not watching TV by commenting to a freind/family member about a TV programme. X Factor is coming up - and that for your age group is normally a fun and exciting programme to exchange views on.

So - to wrap this up. Don't worry so much. Believe in yourself. Accept negative thoughts as just being 'bad thoughts that you can dismiss''. Make an effort to show your feelings - starting off with unimportant observations, which you can then develop.

Above all remember the adage - 'Smile, and the world smiles with you'.

Chin up!!!

PS. Have lots of fun at college...... You are allowed to :o)

Answer 7

welcome to my world. In fact, it could have been me typing that. I totally sympathise.