Help with editing?

Question

Ok so i wrote this review, i just want to know if some of you can go over it and tell me if you find any errors or if you think i should add anything. Thanks

http://school.djsensations.com/...

Or to open it in MS Word

http://school.djsensations.com/ZachCalfin.doc

Answer 1

3rd line down...the words "stress" and "full" should be changed to stressful

The books very first chapter grabs your attention by telling you “Don’t throw up on your friends.”

I would change this to:

The books very first chapter grabs your attention by telling you to not "throw up on your friends." - it would just read more flowingly

next paragraph...through out...spelled incorrectly, correct spelling is : throughout

Through out the book the author uses cleaver ways like this to drag the reader in and want you to read more.

I would change it to:

Throughout the book, the author uses cleaver ways like this to drag the reader in to want to read more.

10th line down..."and this made me want to go on." change to :

"and this made me want to read on" or "read more"

"I would also recommend this book to Pre-teen through adults."

change to:

"I would also recommend this book to anyone, pre-teens all the way through to adults."

a little further down..this "are actually really small things that most of the time I cant even change."

change to:

"are actually really small things that I cannot change, most of the time"

or

"are actually really small things that most of the time I cannot even change"

and then...

"This book changed the way I look at most situations. Such as, in the chapter... "

change to:

"This book changed the way I look at most situations. To give an example, like in the chapter..."

its  - spelling wrong - correct is it's (i opened it with word, so this would be page 2, 3rd line down)

"The book shows that there is usually a more rewarding side to doing good things over bad."

use fuller sentences...change to "The book shows that there is usually a more rewarding side to doing the good things over doing the bad things."

"In the book he tells you to"

when you talk about the author, don't use words like he or she but use "author" instead, thus change to:

"In the book the author tells you to"

". I then realized that Avoid the 90-10 trap was a perfect name for this trap."

change to

". I then realized that the "90-10 trap" was a perfect name for this trap."

"Seeing this, I Decided to take the"

spelling error..more a punctuation error, change to:

"Seeing this, I decided to take the "

double check this: “Admit that your wrong, or that you’ve made a mistake” if it is exactly as it is in the book, then leave it that way, but if it isn't then change it to:

"“Admit that you're wrong, or that you’ve made a mistake”"

"It said that when you make a mistake, and don’t admit it. You spend way to much needed time and energy defending your self or trying to prove your point."

change to

"It stated that when you made a mistake and don’t admit to it, you spend way too much needed time and energy defending yourself or trying to prove your point."

"most defiantly think "

spelling

"most definitely think "

"useful strategy that most people should follow. "

more flowingly would read something like this:

"useful strategy that most people could benefit from"

"few things that I did disagree with."

should read:

"few things that I disagreed with."

spelling mistake, last paragraph:

"Through out the book"

change it to:

"Throughout the book "