Help with incredibly low confidence?

Question

I don't know how to be a more confident person. I try to look at myself in the best manner possible, but whenever I think of anything, my mind immediately 20 reasons why that is either unimportant or false. I can't help this and I have tried to, its just who I am. I'm constantly beating myself up mentally and physically because I feel inferior to everyone. Every single mistake I make haunts me for so long, I still have memories of failures as a kindergartner. There has got to be something wrong with what I am doing, I want to get better because I am just ruining what little life I have obtained.

Answer 1

try and treat everything like its no big deala nd ull trick ur mind to think that. also if u do sumthing wrong just laugh about it and ull pull through

Answer 2

i am the same way, but i'm a little worse. when im in a room with people i dont know, i always debate which direction i should turn my head in next.

Answer 3

I was once like this too and i know what your going through.

This is a start of a depression. Bad. You don't need medication or anything...resolve this naturally.

You have to start hanging out with people who you are close to more often. They will make you feel better. Join local community groups something that allows you to be around more people. This will build up your social skills and you will feel more confident about other people and YOURSELF.

Try to be more outgoing. So what if something embarrasing happens. Embarrasement is a way to grow, to learn from mistakes, to learn to live. No one on this earth has not had an embarrasing moment. Just laugh it off. Don't beat yourself over it.

Talk to someone about this...a family member, a friend someone you confide in. They can help you make a full recovery.

It'll be a slow process but in due time, you will be confident and others will admire you for it.

Good luck! =]

Answer 4

Wow! It sounds as if you have spent a lot of time rehearsing defeat and practicing negativity. It takes time to undo what sounds like years of practiced negative self-talk. Start simple, but be purposeful about it. As you said, you can't just brush it off or will yourself out of it.

If you are concerned about what other people think, remember that most people are so wrapped up in themselves that very few of them truly remember all the little details that you have seared into your brain.

Something I have learned in my life is that the more you try to help someone else, the less time and energy you spend worrying about your own flaws. Maybe there's someone you know that needs some help with something? Moving the focus off of yourself for a little while might help you break the cycle you are in right now.

Most of all, don't give up on yourself. Asking for help is a great start.

Answer 5

Mke a list of the top 5 things about yourself that you wish you could change. Then make another list of the 5 top things you don't want to change. After that, compare the two lists and figure out which one is more important. If the list of things you don't want to change is more important, you need to use those things to boost your confidence. If the other list is the more important, get with a close friend or counselor and start a step by step program to "fix" each thing listed. You might find there are things that don't even need to be fixed at all!

Answer 6

You are not inferior than any other person. You are just you. What make you feel inferior is your own thoughts. Erase all those bad memories, negative thoughts with the Word of the Lord God. Read the Bible, the Psalm, Proverbs. It will help you a lot. Pray to God for something good. Pray is when you talk to God. Change your mentality. Ask God to help you. Ask for good things. He can hear you. He knows your thoughts. He is much closer to you than what you can imagine. He loves you. Believe me, He does. We were created in the image of God. So, do not feel inferior to others, change those thoughts. He has done a lot of beautiful things in life for us to enjoy. Read your Manual, the Bible. Know the blessing that He has for all of us.

We have to learn by our own mistakes. We do not learn by the mistakes of others. That is something natural. We are not perfect and God knows it, but still, He loves us, and want the best for us. Our thought, oh, our thoughts, let think positive all the time. Ask for good things. Write down on a page of your notebook all the good things that you want, and some day they will come to pass. Change your way of talking. Think positive and talk positive and you will see the change in your life.

Sometimes bad thought come to our mind, do not let them make nest in your mind. Throw them out of your mind. Just say it, and they will have to go away. Try and you will have the experience. God, in His word says that; He has giving us power and domain. We just have to find out what can we do by declaring the correct words. When you bless, you will receive blessings. If you talk negative, what you receive are negative things. So, start by blessing others, and you will be bless.

God bless you.

Answer 7

First of all, if you watch a ton of TV or read alot of magazines, that might be a huge contributor to your low self esteem. The media will feed you lie after lie, telling you have to weigh 95 pounds and have a billion dollars in the bank to be a "sucessful" person. Well, it's not true, not in the least bit. There is one person who thinks you've got what it takes- and that's Jesus Christ. He has loved me unconditionally, even when I've screwed up. If you're a guy, read Wild at Heart by John Eldredge. If you're a girl, read Captivating by John and Stasi Eldredge. And contact me if you want to talk more about your issue. Just remember, Jesus is real and he thinks you're to die for. (And he did die for you.)

Answer 8

Hmm. . . A very serious but fortunately easy to fix.

First there are problems in your life that get you down it can be anything like a failed romantic relationship or a test that you failed.  Things with your parents aren't so hot.  Anything so just evaluate your own problems and try to solve them but if they cannot be solved by you then the best way to go is to be positive about it.

Because with the right mindset you can do anything, your mind is the most powerful thing ever! So get rid of your "no's" "I cant's" "It's impossible" "I'm not" "Never" and replace them with "I can" and so on and so on.

And try to pamper yourself more, you cannot be loved until you love yourself.  And that is the most important thing is to love yourself because say if you can't find a special someone for the rest of the year then you won't even notice your loneliness nor your need to love because you are the best thing that has happened to yourself

And try to seek professional help because they can help

Answer 9

I don't know if this fits your situation.. but is it possible you are slightly depressed?  I am mildly depressed and I sort of had feelings like that too.  No matter what I did and no matter how much I tried I couldn't appreciate anything.  Things that used to make me happy just weren't sinking it.  I had no confidence and there was no reason why I shouldn't.  I started taking anti depressants a few weeks ago and its really been a big help.  I think your best bet would be to tell your doctor.  

Answer 10

It's hard if you have low confidence and it's hard if your mind tends to turn towards the negative.

Practical therapy - Write down 3 attainable goals everyday and then achieve them. Extend your field of comfort. Try to test the waters and give yourself credit for trying out new things.

Don't be too perfectionist. Realizing that being down on yourself is making you unhappy might be a motivating force. You might realize that for your health and your quality of life you need to turn this around. Therefore perhaps now is a good time to accept some flaws in yourself.

Humanistically, everyone is acceptable and is valuable. Memories that you have of failures you encountered as a kindergartner are certainly not helpful. Try to forgive yourself for past misdemeanors.

Don't laugh it off or try to forget it. Accept that you have a part of you that remembers the negative and then try to focus on the present and try to forgive yourself for those negative things. You are no different from anyone else in having things that you do not like about yourself. Try to like what you have if you can at all.