Help with miscarriage?

Question

Over the last few weeks I have had several u/s and blood work drawn...after finding a heart beat one week and no heart beat the next two weeks and blood levels falling my doctor determined I had miscarried and prescribed me cytotec. Let me start by saying I have no doubts that this pregnancy was not viable..I trust my doctors and the tests...I took the cytotec on August 13 and miscarried within a few hours. I have heard horror stories about cytotec...and as hard as a miscarriage is in itself, the cytotec wasn't that bad. My problem is here I am 9 days later and I am so emotionally drained and upset, I have barely slept...if you have had a miscarriage how do you deal with it emotionally? Are my feelings normal and how do you know when you are ready to try again?? Thank you

Answer 1

I recently had a m/c too but I wasn't very far along when it happened so I never made it to my appt to hear the heartbeat or have an u/s. Even though I wasn't far along in the pregnancy, it was something my husband and I really wanted and I did everything right---all the way down to taking prenatal vitamins 3 months before I conceived! So that was the hard part for me to get over: Knowing I did everything right and still had a m/c. I cried a little and was somewhat depressed for a few days, but having the m/c made me realize how much I really wanted to be a mom and I couldn't wait to start trying again! I just started my first period since the m/c so I plan on tracking my cycles and trying again in Sept. Your feelings are completely normal. For me, I knew I was willing to start trying in Sept because my heart aches every time I see a baby or see baby things at the store and I don't think I would be completely over the m/c until I get pregnant again.

Answer 2

I have never miscarried but it is hard, give yourself time to grieve, but know you can get pregnant at least.

I recommend professional therapy as well.

Good luck.

Answer 3

i never had one and i don't know if I'm over stepping some boundaries but i just wanted to tell you to be strong and morn the death as what it was. it only takes one day to become attached to a baby so i know that your feelings are real and its barely been over a week i sympathize with what your going through and  i know you will never go back to your 110% but you will move on and be happy again. so cry, take a day off or two but do what ever it takes to  make you feel better there is no reason to put on a brave face for anyone

Answer 4

I am so sorry to hear that, I can tell you personally that I DO know how you feel.  I went to my first 6 week appt, and we were so stoked that we were having a baby.  We had been trying for months.  Two days later, right before I had to leave to go to work, I went to the bathroom and there was the smallest speck you could imagine, but I just knew.  So I freaked out, called my boss, and I went straight to the ER.  My numbers had not risen at all, so they called it a threatened miscarriage.  Looking back, I wish that they never would have said that because all it did was give me hope.  Within a few days it was all done, and I had to have a DNC done.  Physically I did feel better because of all of the cramping, but mentally, we did not know if we ever wanted to try again.  And we didn't.  We decided that if it was supposed to be then it would happen.  And three months later I was pregnant again.  What I'm trying to say is, it is hard and very emotional, but like my dad told me,(which may or may not offend you) was you never know what the outcome is going to be.  The child could have had very serious defects that you might not have been able to handle, or something else.  I am not a very religious person, but God has a plan, and when it is time, it will happen.  

Answer 5

I am so sorry let me say that first. I wish I could tell you how to deal but everyone has their own ways to greive. Me and my husband have been trying for a year now and every month when I get my period I have a mini break down. Sometimes I wish I could just have a miscarriage that way I would know I could atleast get pregnant and have some sort of sliver of hope but I know thats not what I would want if it were to happen. You need to just talk to your husband, god, or your family in time it will get better time heals allwounds sometimes there is still scars but the hurt isnt so bad and YOU will just know when it's time to try again Im sure of it. You will be in my prayers tonight.

Answer 6

Your feelings are totally normal.  When I had mine I went into a depression and it took a lot for me to get out of that again.  I'm not exactly sure how I did get out of it, but I did it mostly on my own, although I did have some appointments with a psychiatrist.  I wrote a lot of my feelings down and started expressing them and even though I just wanted to curl up in a ball and sleep and be by myself, instead, I tried to surround myself with family and friends and do things to get myself feeling better.  My fiancee was also very supportive and without him and my family and friends, I would not have made it through that.

I'm so sorry that you have to go through this pain. :(  I'm not sure about the trying again thing.  I think that that's probably all up to you.  My grandma had about 8 miscarriages before she was able to carry my mom.  I can't even begin to imagine what that must have been like.

My heart definitely goes out to you. :)

Answer 7

My grand mother had 4 miscarrages. You feelings are maternal. You are ready when you feel ready to have another baby. Dont let this one instance burden your whole life. Everything happens for a reason.

Answer 8

i had a miscarriage i kno how hard it was for me but my husband stood besides me and encourage me alot + i accepted as a GOD,S will and HE WILL give me more i took a 15 days to a month to recover mentally and physically and i was fine after that and was ready to pregnant again dr said wait till 3 months than u can try...

u do not worry u wil get through this soon

wish u best of luck if i can get over it so can u.

Answer 9

Honey any feelings you have after such an event are normal. Everyone deals with these things differently. I had a miscarriage 3 years ago and am now finally 33wks pregnant again. I wanted to try again straight away I was so distraught all I had wanted was my little baby and it made me want one so much more. This was how I felt but it wasn't wise, you need time to grieve the loss of your child. There is no right or wrong time to start trying again, your body won't let you fall pregnant whilst it is still under stress and in your heart and mind you will know when you feel ready. As for how to deal with it, it is up to yourself. Distractions are good, but don't ignore the situation either. Talking can help and having a good cry. Perhaps even carrying out your own personal little funeral service can help to give some closure. Don't be hard on yourself, any emotion you feel is normal for you whether you get so angry you could beat the living daylights out of anyone that comes near you, if you start crying for no reason at any given time, and so on. Just be aware that this is your way of grieving and it's all part of the healing process. If you feel counselling may help by all means give that a try. The bad news is, whilst it will get easier, it won't ever go away, as I mentioned I am now nearly ready to pop, but I still mourn my lost baby. I am so deeply sorry for your loss.

Answer 10

My best friend recently had the same thing happen to her.

I am so sorry to hear that.

I will say that you will be fine.

You will never forget.

You will always love.

But you will find happiness again

xo

Answer 11

I was devastated when I learned that my second pregnancy wasn't viable. I knew it wasn't, but kept requesting ultrasounds to be sure. I had an ultrasound once a week for 4 weeks. I finally listened to the doctors and accepted it. I scheduled a D&C for a Friday morning, but ended up miscarrying on my own on Thursday night. It was a horribly painful miscarriage. It only made it worse that I had no baby show for all the blood and pain. I took some time off of work. My husband was very supportive, as were our family. Eventually I was able to slowly get over it knowing that everything happens for a reason. Time is the best cure for pain. You'll know when you are ready to try again. And all the feelings and emotions are exactly how you should be feeling.

Answer 12

MAKE SURE YOU GET A DNC DONE........TO PROPERLLY CLEAN OUT YOUR VAGINAL WALLS,  SO NO INFECTIONS HAPPEN!

Answer 13

I have never had a miscarriage but I want you to know that this is just the start of all the lives you will be able to create, don't let it bring you down. Just be really healthy, your body does not need pills to have a perfect and healthy baby. Just drink a lot of water, don't drink caffeine and don't smoke. Be very very positive because if you aren't, your body isn't and it will be too tired to carry you...imagine another person. This was one time, right? Its very common.  

Answer 14

i am sorry.give your body and mind time to heal.my daughter who wants more than anything to be a mom has miscarried 5 times. you will know when you feel ready to try again.

Answer 15

I am sorry for your loss.  I miscarried on 10/8/07, and it still hurts to this day.  However, I coped by talking to family and friends.  My hubby was/is very supportive.  I had to take a sleep aid, but i would still wake up to my husband wiping my tears away because the sleep aid didnt calm my emotions.  Don't let yourself think that this is the end.  Your body will decide when it is ready to try again.  I became pregnant  again a little over 1 month later. So far so good just waiting for labor i am 40w2d along now.