Help with my 11-year-old daughter...?

Question

My daughter is a very pretty redhead, smart and social, but today, not for the first time, I saw her "snub" one of best friends. She has stopped being friendly to a lot of kids in school, and now has only one best friend (and one sort-of back up). When I try to discuss this with her ("you might want to branch out, esp. going into middle school"), she brushes it off. I know that she can be shy(which can look like conceit), but if we're out someplace and she sees someone she's known for years, she ignores them, or gives them that weird s****. half smile. What is up with that?? BTW, her favorite movie is Mean Girls (I know, I should be worried).

My hubby and I aren't s****., we have all types of friends, and were raised to like all kinds of people. We're both a little shy ourselves.

Anyway, I could use some advice on how to deal with this, if this is normal, if I should lock her in her room until her 20's, or ???

Thanks bunches! :)

Answer 1

Maybe you and your husband should turn the tables on her for a day. if she says, "Hey mom." JUst shrug your shoulders and act s****.. Do that all day. Then at the end of the day, ask her how it felt when you ignored her and were rude to her. Then explain your concern and b the parent. GL!

Answer 2

She is a brat. Make her come home from school as soon as it is over, don't let her hang out with her friends so she can't hurt their feelings anymore, any don't buy her anything until she stops acting that way.

Answer 3

Not to be mean but you should tell her noone will want to be her friend if shes a brat, or just let her find that out the hard way...~xoxo ally*

Answer 4

Both of my parents were a little shy. I was EXTREMELY shy growing up. I was just the way you are describing her. Growing up I always only had one best friend, and sometimes a "good" friend, or as you put it, a "back up". I know that my shyness came off as being s****. and I always felt bad about that, but I really couldn't help it. For me, I completely outgrew it once I got to highschool. I was a social butterfly during high school. I hung out with a ton of different people from all different groups and the only time I got "shy" was when I had to do presentations in front of the class. So hopefully she'll outgrow it. As long as she isn't going out of her way to do mean things to other people, I wouldn't worry too much.

Another option would be to talk to her pediatrican or family doctor. My parents tried that-mine suggested I see a therapist..I went a few times, but it just wasn't for me. It might help your daughter though.

Answer 5

It's that age, she probably has been treated as popular in school and now is letting it go to her head, or doesn't want to be seen with the unpopular people, give her time she should grow out of it.  But if it continues and gets worse I would tell her if yshe doesn't strainten up she will loose some type of privilege.  Good luck

Answer 6

she ask her whats up with her and all her friends she used to have. if she gives you a snide remark let it be. eventually she'll realize her attitude and change. but hey having one best friend is always better then having 20 good friends

Answer 7

tell her no ones gonna be your friend if you continue to act like that.

it works.

Answer 8

i think she modeling is after that show. you need to sit her down and have a heart to heart. tell her that show is not how real girls act. it made up with people pretending to be that way

tell her what could happen if she keeps this up.

make sure never to raise your voice and to keep a calm look on your face at all times.

Answer 9

She is just being a girl! I know that sounds bad but we have all done it, and of course that doesn't mean what she is doing is right but feel a little comfort in knowing your not the only one w/ this problem!, I'm not sure what you do for  punishment but let her know that being rude isn't okay, perhaps you should "ground" her form seeing her friend. or have her invite over some friends whom she has disconnected w/ and have a sleep over, just so she can see how fun they are and what a good time she can have with them. communication is the key here! Good luck!

Answer 10

sounds like shes a p*****n alright. tell her to stop being so snobbish to people and to be nice to everyone no matter what. if she doesn't lighten up karma can come back and bite her...she could have a falling out with her best friend and be left alone. DON'T let her brush it off. by doing that she has the "upper hand" and you DON'T want that. kindness is a good thing...the last thing you want is for her to be some s****. girl who bullies others.

Answer 11

I'm sure you have absolutely nothing to worry about.  She is acting like a typical 11 year old.  Maybe she got into a disagreement with some friends at school, and hasn't told you about it.  If she did it is probably something petty to us - but a big deal to her.  Sit her down and tell her about the consequences or being coming off "stuck up" to others.  If she chooses to not have a lot of friends, that is fine with you, but she needs to at least be kind to others.

She may just be going through a stage, but the real way to get to the bottom of this would be to have a semi-serious conversation with her.

Good Luck!

Answer 12

She has what's called and invisible audience. She is at that age where she thinks everyone is watching her and cares about her every little move. That is what teenagers do. (She may be 11 but puberty comes sooner for some)

Maybe try and talk to her about how she is treating other people. Discuss with her the consequences of snubbing her friends.

(She might be trying to look cool in front of everyone)

Answer 13

Shes a teenager.

This what they do.

There is nothing you can do, she will be like this

till shes about 19.