I have three kids from a previous marriage and my husband had no kids, till we had one together. Our marriage is suffering because of my 14 year old boy. He can't go back to his father (because that would surely cause him to be the ultimate bad seed) and my husband and I make decent money, but not enough to send him to one of those behavioral problem schools. I don't know anybody (relatives or trusted friends) that would take him in, just until he is done with high school. He is obsessed with skateboarding to the point where everything else has fallen by the way side (family, school, chores,etc.). He does not have the talent to make it as a professional and he has no other interests in life. His laziness is the cause of most of the trouble in the house. He doesn't do anything until I am yelling and screaming at him and then, he does it in his own time and he never does things to an acceptable standard. He rushes his chores and doesn't do them right because he's rushing to just get them over with. His grades are in the toilet, one B and two Cs and one D (When I was his age, I would've been highly upset getting grades like that.) It does not bother him, he makes no effort. he says he does, but he does not study, he does not do anything but skateboard, and oh, yeah, play video games. I offer to help him with his school work and studying, but he can't be bothered. He always says he did it already. I know he is not very happy, but he is the cause of a lot of unhappiness in our house. Last year he stole from a store and had to do community service. Did not change him. My husband, who is his stepfather is so frustrated with him, he wants to move out till my son grows up and moves out. My husband is a bit of a perfectionist and likes things a certain way, I tell him he needs to ease up, but then I can also see where he is coming from. We have a house which we like to maintain and my son doesn't really care (understandably, kids are like that). My husband bought my son a really good lawn mower so he could go out and try to make money over the summer, my son was to lazy to do more than four lawns (one time each) over the course of the summer and the summer is almost over. Understand, my son has caused us to spend a lot of money cleaning up his messes (fines, repairs from damages he did around the house, and having to take off work to drive him to community service). We told him he would have to pay a portion of his fine or have some of his video games and playstation sold. He didn't come up with any money, so we took some of his games and PS and gave it away (not sold it, just gave it away). He had the opportunity to make money this summer, but chose not to because he is just plain lazy. I am worried about him and his future, how can he hold even a minimum wage job if he is like this? I don't want to put him into foster care, but I believe he will be the death of me and/or my marriage if he continues the way he has been. I LOVE both my husband and my son, but I really don't want to lose my husband, even for a few years just because my son cannot understand and try to change. Does anyone have any suggestions?
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