Help with my 7 year old.....?

Question

I hate to say it but my 7 y/o daughter is a constant complainer. She does it for attention- I believe.

She is always complaining that something hurts. EVERYDAY its either a headache, stomache ache or SOMETHING! As I am her mother, I can tell the difference between real and fake.

Today her teacher called me in reguards to her complaints. I told the teacher that I feel its for attention and the teacher agree'd but just in case, wanted to bring it to my attention.

How can I break my daughter of this? I dont want to tell her not to tell her teacher that because then she will tell the teacher that she isn't allowed to tell her whats wrong.... then that raises eyebrows and then they think the worst

I also dont want to run her to the doctor or drug her up on medicine daily when she complains but I dont want the teacher thinking I am neglecting her complaints.

Answer 1

If she is complaining about something and it is fake...then isn't she lying?  Have you talked to her about that?  How about some punishment for catching her in a lie?  If she complains about a headache or tummyache...no playing, no television, no friends.  Just quiet rest.

Answer 2

That's a tough one.  When I was in first grade, I did the same thing.  I was very depressed and didn't want to be in school, so everyday I complained of either a headache or a stomach ache.  My parents took me to the doctor for a lot of tests and of course, there was never anything wrong with me.  If you are sure your daughter is faking, I'd talk to her about it.  Let her know you are very worried about her and you are concerned about what is causing her pain.  Ask her if there is something going on at school that is causing her to feel badly.  Just be open and honest with her, let her know she can talk to you about anything.  Good luck!

Answer 3

i'd go along with it and lay her in bed not letting her watch tv or play with anything jus tell her to rest then hopefully she will get bored of it because shes not getting doing anything. My Partners son was like that he'd say his sick but wants to go to the pools or ride his bike his snapped out of it now.

Answer 4

Well, I would try to tell her that she can go to the doctor and get shots if she hurts!  Sometimes my kids will say  I want to go to the doctor!

Answer 5

I think a mother knows when their child really isn't well just take each day as it comes and tell the teachers at the school to ignore it unless they think she's generally poorly, if you go talking to her about it then she's got the attention she wanted from it, just don't mention it and the lack of attention from it should hopfully faze it out!!

Answer 6

Honestly dont have an answer for you but i have a 10 yr old who is the same and has been this way since about the age of your daughter...i'm at a loss myself...i do agree it's for attention, but dont know why, she has Plenty of attention.

Answer 7

Hmmm, my now-11YO daughter did this two years ago, along with her best friend (same age/grade).  When we knew that something was going around school (i.e. flu) we (myself and the other girl's mom) would allow the girls to come home; of course, once they were home no fun stuff (TV, video games, etc.) was allowed, since they were allegedly SICK.

However, when this became an almost-daily thing after a couple of weeks, I started to suspect there was something else going on.  So I spoke to my daughter, who insisted everything was fine at school (she also loves school and does very well, and is popular).  I didn't stop there; I spoke to teachers, lunch program supervisors, and other parents.  Nothing.  About a week later (so this had been going on for a month), I spoke to another of her friends, a boy whose mother I happened to work with; and he told me that the grade bully had been picking on Becca!  When I confronted Becca she admitted it; and together we came up with a solution, which did involve this third friend (he happened to be the biggest boy in the class and the bully was afraid of him LOL).  Once we resolved the problem, the complaints went away.  We did also go through the school to have them begin investigation and action on the incidents.  After some lengthy conversations, my daughter now tells me when anything isn't right at school.

Your instincts are right on target; she is clamoring for attention, but it may be for a different reason than you think.  Check into everything; often it is a bullying situation, or she is having more trouble than usual in one particular subject.... can you ask her friends if anything's going on?  I'd also bring it up with the school social worker, because often they are the best resource when a bully is involved (yep, we got ours involved too, LOL).

Answer 8

When we were sick Mum would keep us at home in bed for the whole day. None of us were going to fake illness when the consequences were so dreadfully boring. So the next time, put her to bed and make her stay there for the whole day. If she says she's sick, she must be sick, right?

Answer 9

My daughter was doing this so I solved it by buying her some of those kids vitamins - the ones that you can give them each day - that come in fun shapes.  

I'm in Australia, so if you are not Australian they may look different where you are.

I get her to take one every morning before school and it seems to have worked.  She thinks the vitamins will stop her getting sick (even though she was doing it for attention also).

My daughter was going to "sick bay" every day, and that has stopped since I began doing this.

I also agree with the previous poster - make sure there is not an underlying problem that is causing her to seek attention.  It's quite common for children who are being bullied to feign illness.

Good luck!

Answer 10

If you think she is doing this for attention. What happens if she is really telling you the truth.  I think you should take  her to the doctor,and  if they dont find anything wrong , then you should try talking to your daughter to find why she is doing this. Try spending more time with her if she needs attention.

I have a 7 year old and I would be very concern if she is complaining about having pains. She could be really sick.