Help with my problem please!?

Question

Hello, I'm a teen boy and have a problem. When I'm around people, I never talk and can't get any friends. I don't know what to talk about or anything. I want to be outgoing. Can anyone please help?

Answer 1

I have that problem. I find that sometimes even just a smile can make someone thing "hmm, they seem nice, i'll go talk to them." That way, they come up to you first so that you don't have to make the first step AND you don't have to say anything to get them to do it. The more you talk to someone, the easier it will get. The second conversation will be easier than the first.

Once you meet a couple of people, they will have friends who you'll meet and that way, you meet a lot of people without actually having to take the first chance.

But i think the best way to truly overcome this, would be to remind yourself that you'll only live once and ask yourself if you really want to go through life lonely and thinking what if every second. Take the plunge and try to be even just a little bit more open. A little goes a long way.

Good luck. And don't worry about it. Other people do it and they survive.

Answer 2

Be yourself. ;)

Answer 3

Is there a reason you never talk? How old of a teen? It's been my observation that a lot of younger teen boys are socially awkward but it doesn't mean there is anything wrong with you.  Do you have ANY friends at all? Try these links:

http://www.youmeworks.com/howtoavoidfeel...

http://www.theglobeandmail.com/servlet/s...

Also, try reading a book called "The Perks of Being a Wallflower"

Good luck!

Answer 4

that is a problem... try "whats up my name is." or try a joke

you should just talk i mean **** it who cares right?

Answer 5

ur just shy! I'm kind of like that too. I have a few good friends and then some aquaintences. You just have to aproach people. Its hard to do, but once you try it, you realize that its really no big deal. just walk up to someone that you think you'd like to be friends with and say "hey, wuts up?" or mention some school assignment or something like that. you can really talk about anything in the world. sticking to school is the easiest thing though. cuz that is the one thing you definatly have in common with everyone you go to school with. you just have to become a little bit more social. start slow though, by asking people what the homework was (even if you already know) when they tell you, you can say something like "god! will ms (insert teachers name here) ever layoff!" show everyone what you are really like and if they like you, they'll aproach you. are you really funny when you're around your family? or good at some sport? or even just a really nice guy? or you can join some kind of club or team that you're interested in and then you will meet people and be able to think of things to talk about. good luck!! :D

Answer 6

You don't have to be outgoing, but when you are around people remember to smile and laugh. It's hard if you are shy, but you have nothing to lose. If you are at school, ask the person you want to talk to how their last class was and how there day was. Ask them what they are doing on the weekend. Be inquisitive about their life and the things they do outside of school. If you want to make friends, you have to be open about your life too though. It helps to hang around people that like the same things as you do. If you like reading join a book club. If you like swimming, join a swim club. Starting a conversation is easier if you have something in common to talk about. Then invite them to do something on the weekend. They can only say no, so just move on and ask someone else.  

Answer 7

Find something you really like to do - band, sports, church, etc and join a group that does that.  That will provide you with easy opportunities to talk about items of mutual interest.

Answer 8

there are many people like you who find it hard to be outgoing?

Like many shy people, you don't have to worry about going to the extremes. You don't want to take yourself from one extreme to the next. You just need to learn how to take yourself out of your current comfort zone and pushing yourself just a little bit to expand the comfort zone and work on yourself. Eventually something, twill click and you'll just become a more active and outgoing person.

Answer 9

Buddyboy! Don't be fake. Fake is for losers. People will like you. There's someone for everyone [: Live your life. Life is great. Crack jokes not knuckles. [:  

Answer 10

Don't try so hard. It will just come naturally. When a conversation starts up...say what you think. If they don't like what you say, they are not the people to be around. Just be friendly.

Answer 11

I used to be like you. When you're in the group,not speaking, just listen. When they say something that you know about or heard of then jump in. I would always miss my chance to jump in and never speak. They won't pause to give everyone a chance to give their 2 cents that''s why we need to jump in as soon you get the chance.

Answer 12

dont worry - it will come to you with maturity - just try to relax and ask people about themselves or their family. that will start some convo.

Answer 13

I am afraid this a bit of a geek answer but I bet it will get you started.

Define your interests.  Most schools have clubs for just about everything from chess to Wicca.  When you find a group that discusses things you enjoy it will be much easier to feel secure,safe and get some validation.  In a group that accepts you for who you really are it will be much more comfortable to talk to strangers.  They share your interests!

Next step is just to ease out a bit and strike up a chat with the rest of the world.  This is critical.  Otherwise  you get drawn into a pattern that will never serve you well.  Simple,easy topics are best.  Do you think we will make the finals?    Take a clue from what folks wear.  You can do a lot with something like a Hulk or Miley Cirus bookcover and a genuine interest in what others are interested in talking about.  People like to talk about their interests.

Those are just a couple of clues.  Believe me, in a few weeks you will be way ahead by just listening more that you talk and asking questions that show you mean it.

Go get "em!

Answer 14

join a club at school

Answer 15

maybe your shy or people don't want to talk to you