Help with this poem? Constructive Criticism?

Question

Eurydice Is Still Angry

Of course, I followed you everywhere-

just three steps behind, in fact,

like a good little wife,

didn’t you hear me when I cried for you

to lead me out of the darkness?

How dare you doubt me?

I know I’m just a trophy wife

in other’s eyes a tribute to your manhood,

Don’t project your faithless, fickle heart on me;

try to tether me with a glare.

Fool! If I could just reach you,

I’d tear you to pieces myself.

What do you have to cry about?

Look at what you did to me,

It’s a goddam Greek tradgedy!

It's been hanging around a while, and I can't decide if its done.

Answer 1

I really like some of your imagry. Some of it is very clever and unexpected. I liked "tether with a glare" and "just three steps behiend." I perferred your more abstract lines than your direct lines as they seemed more poetic. "In others eyes a tribute to your manhood," seemed to direct and conversational to me. That is just a matter of personal prefrence though.

Answer 2

It's excellent.  It is a monologue, which fits into a play, so well.  Do write more of this excellent play -- I think when you finish all the parts, you will have a play worthy of broadway.

T.

Answer 3

Your poem is very expressive...however, my father told me (when he was still alive) never to feel sorry for married people because they usually deserved each other.  To this I'd say that anyone who says they "know" they are a trophy wife, probably knew that going into the marriage, and as such, was a part of the plan from the beginning, and therefore undeserving of empathy down the road.  I'm not saying you are "actually" the person in the poem, I'm saying that the speaker in the poem is not exactly "lovable" from that perspective...yet, there are people who act and feel "exactly" like the speaker, so the poem is very believable, and therefore well written in that regard.  

Poetically, I'd say it's "done enough"...any additional lines would be redundant as we understand the speakers position very clearly (you did a really good job with that) with what you've already written, and because poetry should be tight and concise, I'd end it where you have already done so.

Sharp, clear, concise, well written...keep writing.

Answer 4

Wow i really like it.  it jammed full of emotion and you it the reader with it.  My only suggestion would be improve the last line.  It sounds too..cliche?...preachy?...almost like it doesnt fit the rest of the poem.  

Hope this helps and keep on writing!

Answer 5

awesome poem its prim and perfect. i cant really opt to give you any criticism because i have none! don't change a single word!

really, its strong and powerful and it has the ability to relate to many people (women in particular)and like the above answer it does have a bit of a theatrical essence. i also admire the fact that its a free verse poem!

keep them coming:]