Help would be aprreciated?

Question

I want to go on a whale watch on Saturday with my cousins, but it's my dad's weekend. He said he was fine with it, but he said he was planning on going to the beach. He and my mom fought I guess, and now she's mad and refused to talk to anyone. I finally got a hold her of her, and she was kinda grumpy. She had been weird on the phone beforehand. I'm just mad that he said he was fine with it, and then fought with my mom. I don't even want to go to his house. I hate him and the comments that he makes. I hate sleeping on the couch with my brother while he gets a bed with his fricking girlfriend!! He could have gotten a 2 bedroom apartment if he tried, instead of a one bedroom with a 13 year old girl who needs some alone time, ya know? I wish I had some privacy! I have none at all! I wish I could just stay with my mom. And then he took me and Eric (my brother) numerous times away from my mom on HER weekend, so we could go to dumb parties! I see no reason why we can't go to the beach on Sunday, and he shouldn't have fought with my mom. I'm just fed up with him being a slime! He claims he's poor but he really isn't, and buys things for his gf!

Please make me feel better. I'm such a brat for complaining, but I'm mad!

I mean, is he wrong? Is this right? Am I being a complete brat?

Answer 1

You are 14...you are old enough to decide where you want to be  living.  If it really is  that bad then have your mom take it to court and have the schedule changed.  At 14 I agree that you should have your privacy.  It sounds like your dad is being selfish...the girlfriend should NOT come before you!  Try talking to him...let him know how you feel without being mean...couldn't hurt.

Answer 2

you're dad is being irresponsible, and putting his ( and maybe his girlfriend's) needs before yours. Once your 14, you don't have to go to his house anymore, you have a say.

Answer 3

that's horrible...i don't think you should have to spend the night at his house when you don't even have a bedroom. i would have a talk with your mom about it. maybe you could start just spending time with him during the day but not having to spend the night. your mom probably does enjoy the time off and having a night to herself, but it's not right that at 13 years old you have to share a couch with your brother. that's a little creepy actually. and being a child of divorce as well, i would NEVER have let either of my parents have their boy/girl friends spend the night when i was home. not that i was my place to "let" them...but they respected me and my sister enough to not put us in that kind of uncomfortable situation.

it seems like you all need to sit down as a family and figure some things out. it is important that you see your dad even though you seem to have some problems with him. but having the spend the night on a couch is a little much. and having to not make plans because you have to go to your dad's is kinda silly too. i can see where your parents would be coming from, but my parents divorced when i was your age so i know how hard it is to juggle time with mom, dad, friends, school, etc.

i really hope you can figure out a visiting situation that works better for everyone. and i'm sorry your dad is not stepping up like he should as a dad. it isn't right, in my opinion, if he is able to spend money on a girlfriend but you feel like he isn't doing all he can for your family financially. unfortunately that happens a lot. i'm sure he loves you very much, but parents don't always do the right thing even though as kids we like to think they do. try to hang in there!!  

Answer 4

i think it's important to spend time with both your mom and your dad.  i don't know of your whole situation and i also don't know his side of things.  try and tell you dad how you feel.  if your brother is at your dads most of the time and you are at your moms most of the time then it makes sense that your brother has the room at your dads house.  maybe your dad can come up with something to give you some more privacy.  just talk to him.

sorry, i thought you said your brother had a room.  defiantly need to have a talk with your dad.  if he has children, he should make room for them!

Answer 5

you have every right to be angry. he's not thinking at all about how you feel. but, it may be unintentional. dads are not the brightest guys, so you need to talk to him. trust me, i know it's easier said than done but it's the only way you can try to make him understand. you shouldn't feel guilty for going whale watching. i hope it gets better :) good luck