Help!!My 10 year old daughter brought p**n to school and now I have to talk to the Principal.What do I do?

Question

I am so embarrased and sick to my stomach about all this. She got suspended from the bus for 10 days and now we have to see the principial tomorrow so she can see how serious this matter is.How do I handle this?Am I a bad mother?

Answer 1

Things happen, she's a kid and kids are curious. Your not a bad mother you should just put your personals away somewhere that it wont be found by the kids. You now need to have a long talk with ur daughter about what she saw and how it's wrong to go through ur stuff. As far as the principal goes, just tell him it was a mistake, you will take action, and it wont happen again. Good Luck !!

Answer 2

Wow, a 10 year old? How in the world did she get ahold of that? You need to sit her down and punish her and put your foot down. Did you have the p**n in your house or what? I mean she cant go into a store and buy it obviously...

Answer 3

No you are not a bad mom. Kids are curious.

I remember when I was about may 10 or 11 while playing around the house I found some p**n mags under my parents bed. I told my friends and we found more in my home & her's!

Before we had a parental block on our computer my oldest daughter who is 11 admitted to finding p**n online. I was shocked. She said she just typed in s*x and it popped up. She was crying because she "couldn't get it out of her head".

I felt like the worst mom in the world! I didn't know what to say or do.

My husband was calm and said it was no big deal just talk to her about it. So I did as hard as it was.

Sit your daughter down and let her know you love her. Tell her a story when you found it yourself as a young kid. If you don't have one steal mine. lol It shows kids are normal.

Next ask your daughter if she any questions. My daughter had tons. Mostly "WHY do people do that for others to see." It was a HARD talk. But, I gave very honest answers.

Next explain why she is in trouble with her school.

Also if you haven't you need to talk about s*x. I've given my daughter a few books about it and told her if she has questions we can talk. She doesn't want to talk. lol But I make sure we do. (We homeschool & I just add it to our daily work every few weeks)

Now, the big thing. She found this in your home. I had a talk with a friend of mine after our first child (born a week apart). She told me she wanted to get rid of all the what's the word (newlywed life stuff) meaning: magazines, videos and so on.

She had a point. If there is something your home that you don't want your kids to see then it shouldn't be there. My husband & I followed suit and got rid of our few things too. lol

So your daughter is going to wonder why mommy has this. That is a hard thing to explain to a child. So you may need to talk to your husband about how to handle that. I don't know if "It is something big people do" would cover it.

Your little girl is going to be really nervous about the visit tomorrow.

Tell you what sit down with your daughter tonight and write a note to the principal. Have her admit her wrong and tell him she is sorry. She can also add ONLY IF IT IS TRUE that she didn't understand what it was and didn't know it was wrong.

The reason for the note is she may be to upset or shy to talk about this with him/her. She can hand it to the principal so will get everything down she wants to say.

All in all let your daughter know that p**n is out there. Tell her how you feel about it and even though p**n isn't made to be private like s*x, it is still something that doesn't need to be shown outside for the whole world to see.

Your not a bad mom. It happens & like I said above it did with my child too.

Answer 4

My 12 year old son just did the same thing.  He got on the computer when no one was home and printed off a bunch of pictures.

Take her to the principal and the two of you need to talk some sense into her.   Don't let it reflect on you.  This is a situation of your daughter, not you. Find out why she took it to school and explain that it's not right for her to look at that stuff.

Answer 5

Let your daughter do the talking to the principal. See what she tells him, and make her tell the truth. I would tell the principal that you are sorry this happend, and that you make sure it will never happen again.

And next time, PLEASE. Keep the p**n put up. Not in a dresser drawer, not under the matress, not under the bed. If you cannot trust your daughter, than I would consider locking your bedroom door.

Answer 6

Where did she get it!!?

Answer 7

Well if she got it from you, then you only have yourself to blame for having in such a place she could easily find and look at it

Answer 8

Okay, that's quite an embarrassing situation. First of all just explain were you stand with this situation to the principle and apologise for any inconvenience caused. Explain to him / her that you will have a serious talk with your daughter and how shocked you are about all of this.

You are not a bad mother these things happen, the important issue is how this problem is resolved. There must be a consequence for your daughters action so she knows not to do it again. Good luck...

Answer 9

Ok first off hide your p**n better :). Secondly sit your daughter down and explain to her that it's not acceptable behaviour for her to go into your room without your permission and that she has no right to go through other people's things. She needs to understand her actions have consequences. As for the principal, explain the situation to him/her. I personally hope she gets suspeneded, it will serve her right for snooping.

Answer 10

<sigh>  You need to hide your p**n better. Put it on the top shelf of your closet or somewhere that she cannot reach it... or lock it up. Ten year olds should not be exposed to things like that.  I would be terrified that the school would call child protective services.

Answer 11

How in the world did she get ahold of p**n to begin with?

Wow I am actually shocked!

She needs a long sit down conversation about what went wrong here & some heavy consequences

Answer 12

Well look first of all that should have been locked up. Second you should have taught your daughter better. Third you should think you are a bad parent thats trashy and horrible that you have set a bad example on your 10 year old.

Answer 13

The only person you have to blame is yourself!!!  This time is more important for your daughter than to others opinions from the school.  Tell her pornography is wrong and find a better hiding spot for it if you need to keep using it.

Answer 14

Well go in and talk to the principal.

In the fall my 9 y.o daughter found a condom. She brought it to school. She had a piece of chalk in it and had tied the end. She thought it was a baggie, so she said anyways. We have no clear idea as to where she found it (I am 32 weeks pregnant and was pregnant when it happened. So they were nothing that I owned.).

The principal simply showed me what my daughter had brought to school. Asked for permission for her to talk with the school counselor.

I talked to her about not playing with things she finds.

There have been no more incidences.

Answer 15

dresser drawer ARE YOU CRAZY . p**n should be locked away or in the highest and most obscure place . you should be embarrassed.

Answer 16

Hey don't worry about it. You are not a bad mother. Kids get into a lot that they really should not be in. Tell the principial that it is not a big deal, and if he/she is REALLY freaking about it they should take another look. Ask them to take a look from your shoes - KIDS DO CRAZY THINGS! Let your litttle girl know that it was a bad thing and give her some groud rules -- then never bring it up again (:

Good luck!

Answer 17

You are totally irresponsible and should have made such material impossible for her to find.  Shame on you!

Whos giving the thumbs down to the only people with the sensible answers.

What you did was wrong and you are totally at fault.  It's not the childs fault - yours, so sort it out!

Answer 18

How about being a Pro-Active parent instead of a Re-Active parent.

Usually the parents catch the kids with p**n, not the other way around.

Maybe your daughter should ground you.

Haha, now that I think about it, you have to drive her to and from school!

HAHAHAH

Answer 19

Can't you hide your stuff any better than that?  You have a 10 year old child!  

Don't worry about whether you are being a bad mother.  This does not make you a bad mother.  However, you were carelelss, and you're just gonna have to hang your head and go take your punishment.  And you're also going to have a long talk with your daughter, which will be embarrassing, but you'll have to do it.  Go take care of business now, because you have no choice.

Answer 20

ummmm be an adult and dont use yahoo answers for your petty problems, now man up and face it like a real adult and just explain the situation to the principal, and no your not a bad mother just a wuss of an adult... sheesh im 14 and know wat to do